


Prayers Under The Streetlights

by trinipedia



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-19
Updated: 2009-09-19
Packaged: 2018-09-14 19:25:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9199268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trinipedia/pseuds/trinipedia
Summary: Jensen Ackles is an ex-marine, hired as a high school teacher in a poor area of the city. After a terrible reception from the students, he tries unconventional methods of teaching to gain their trust, discovering on the way how much he can learn from them and that maybe there's love waiting for him where he'd least expect to find it.





	1. LESSON 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta:** [ blueeyedliz ](http://blueeyedliz.livejournal.com/profile)
> 
> **Disclaimer:** Not mine in any way, shape or form. Based on the movie "Dangerous minds", so if there's anything you think you recognize, I probably didn't write it.  
> 

 

 

  

 

  
  
"Sure...Yeah, I'm just gonna have to check the schedule."  
  
Robert Wisdom mouths _thank you_ at Samantha, his secretary, as she pushes some blank paper in front of him. _This woman must read minds or something. If you do, Sam, thank you so much._  
  
"Let me write that down" he says to the person on the other side of the phone.  
  
Just as he does, a soft knock comes at his door, and lifting his eyes he can see the school’s history teacher, Chad Michael Murray, grinning at him like a lunatic. "How's my favorite vice principal doing?" Chad asks, and Robert rolls his eyes.  
  
"Flattery will only take you so far, Murray. What do you want?" He asks back, covering the receiver with a hand.  
  
"My friend Jensen Ackles is here to see you," Chad says.  
  
Robert's eyes widen. "Is that today?! Oh, God, Chad, I-it's not a good time..."  
  
"But he flew in all the way from _Texas_ for this interview, Rob!" Chad whines and Robert knows Chad well enough to be sure the guy's not going to leave him alone until he talks to his friend.  
  
"Alright," he answers, defeated, and watches as Chad fist pumps the air. "Uh, I'm gonna have to call you back. Thank you. Bye." He ends his phone conversation and sits back down behind his desk.  
  
Chad enters his office holding a young man's arm. The man is probably older than Chad, not by much though and has short, honey-colored spiky hair, big green eyes and a shy smile on his lips.  
He's wearing a brown jacket and an equally brown long sleeved t-shirt underneath. "Jensen, I'd like you to meet Robert Wisdom, our assistant principal. Robert, Jensen Ackles."  
  
Jensen extends his hand towards Robert and he shakes it, smiling friendly at him. The guy seems on the verge of bolting, and Robert knows his appearance can be- _intimidating_ , so he tries to greet Jensen with his most harmless expression.  
  
"I'll wait outside" Chad adds, closing the door behind him.  
  
"Thank you for seeing me" Jensen says as he sits down, and Robert shrugs.  
  
"Oh well, Mr. Murray-Chad hasn't stopped talking about you for a second, so I feel like I know you already."  
  
Jensen chuckles. "I'm sorry for that."  
  
Robert waves a hand dismissively as he checks out Jensen's curriculum then he looks at him, a little puzzled. "I must say, it isn't often that we have an applicant of your- _maturity_ and varied experience. B.A. in English Lit, public relations, telemarketing-Marine?" He stares at Jensen, who nods.  
  
"But you don't look like a Marine. At _all_."  
  
Jensen blushes slightly. "The tattoos are hidden under my long sleeves."  
  
It takes a moment for Robert to understand Jensen is joking and laugh. The guy has a surprisingly strong presence for being so shy. "You stopped really close of being certified," Robert notices, "Why?"  
  
Jensen's eyes shift and he licks his lips nervously. "I met my wife and her father didn't approve of me being a teacher. He said I wasn't going to be able to support a family with that kind of job, so he kinda forced me to start working for his company." Robert expects him to elaborate, but after a short silence Jensen just coughs and adds, "we're divorcing."  
  
Robert blinks. Maybe...no. Come on, _this guy_? He won't stand a chance. And still...  
He studies Jensen for a few seconds and decides to risk it. "It wouldn’t be a problem to get you emergency certification; when could you start?"  
  
Jensen arches an eyebrow. "Start?!"  
  
Robert takes off his glasses. "Mr. Ackles, I'll cut to the chase. One of our, er, _academy_ teachers, Mrs. Cortese, left, and we've had three substitute teachers since then; the last one, Mrs. McNiven, fell ill just this morning." He sighs before continuing, "So, we have a full-time position and we need to fill it _now_."  
  
Jensen looks confused. "I thought this was an interview for a student teacher. What's an academy teacher, exactly?"  
  
Robert fidgets. "The academy is sort of a school within the school" he explains, looking everywhere but straight at, "Special kids. Passionate, energetic, challenging." Since Jensen is still not answering, Robert quickly adds, "The salary is 24,700 dollars a year. Are you interested?"  
  
As soon as he hears the amount, Jensen seems to forget any worry he might have had, just as Robert hoped. "Yes, of course I'm interested," he answers, and Robert breathes again, relieved.  
  
"That's wonderful," He says, giving Jensen a curriculum, a copy of the schedule and a few more papers he labeled _whatnot_. As soon as he opens the door, Chad is there.  
  
"So?" Chad asks expectantly.  
  
"We have a new teacher," Robert announces, and Jensen beams at Chad. "Full time," He adds, and Chad, who was about to congratulate him, blinks.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah, he starts tomorrow," Robert says, moving towards the Teachers Lounge. "Mr. Ackles is going to be teaching one of our academy classes."  
  
"Acad-Robert!" Chad shouts, but Robert's already gone. He turns at Jensen. "Did he tell you about the, uh, academy program?" He asks tentatively and Jensen nods enthusiastically.  
  
"Yeah, he told me all about it! Bright, special kids, and-"  
  
Chad rolls his eyes and stares back at Jensen's face. He looks so hopeful and happy, way more than he has seen him during the last few months, and he doesn't have the heart to tell him what exactly he's going to face. "My classroom will be right next door to yours," is all he says in the end. "If you have any questions, you know who to ask, right?"  
  
Jensen punches his shoulder playfully. "I'll be counting on it."

 

  
  
A deafening noise becomes louder and louder, as he and Chad climb the stairs and Jensen turns to his friend. "What's that?"  
  
Chad just shrugs and looks embarrassed. "It's coming from your classroom," he says. Jensen looks through the glass in the door and sees students standing around, rapping, talking animatedly and generally acting as if they own the school. Chad offers him a nervous smile. "If you stand there long enough, they'll usually quiet down. Don't try shouting over them, though." He adds as an afterthought and then walks to his own classroom, leaving Jensen alone in front of the door. Jensen swallows noisily and as he's about to turn the knob Chad calls him back. "I'm right next door," he reminds him.

 

 

  
  
"White bread!" A kid shouts, followed by a series of giggles from a couple of girls sitting behind him.  
  
Jensen does his best to ignore them; he was expecting verbal abuse, since he's well aware that the kids in East Palo Alto aren't usually all that- _classy_.  
  
"Look at that!" Another girl whistles appreciatively, but the one next to her just shrugs.  
  
"Have you seen how he's dressed? He's so obviously a fag."  
  
Jensen briefly looks at his light blue shirt and the suspenders, and wonders if he's overdressed.  
Everyone else doesn't pay any attention to him, though, as they go on rapping and shouting.  
"May I have your attention, please?" Jensen tries, his voice carrying above the noise, but without results. He sighs and walks up to a redheaded girl sitting in the first row and takes the ear bud of her I-Pod out of her ear. "What happened to Miss Cortese?" He asks, and the redhead narrows her eyes.  
  
"Oh, no, you ain't askin' about Miss Vaginevieve Cortese?" She exclaims, then stands up on her chair and shouts out. "Yo, yo, yo! Listen up! White bread wanna know what happened to _Miss_ Cortese!"  
  
A boisterous laugh resounds.  
  
A couple of guys who are clearly twins walk past Jensen and state, "We _killed_ that bitch."  
  
Jensen smiles nervously.  
  
"Kick it," a black guy says. "I was beginning to like the _puta_..." he accompanies his words with a few crude gestures that just make his classmates laugh harder.  
  
"No, no, no! Everybody, come on," a lithe, blonde guy exclaims, standing up and nodding towards the back of the room. "Jared _ate_ her."  
  
He arches an eyebrow at Jensen, who doesn't have a clue about what's going on. That's until the tallest guy he has ever seen stands up too and slowly struts towards him. Cat calls and lusty gazes follow his passage and Jensen has to grip his desk very hard to hide that his hands are trembling.  
The guy- _Jared_ apparently, is wearing a red flannel shirt, which is unbuttoned and shows the grey wife beater he has on underneath. His cargo pants hang low on narrowed hips and Jensen's mouth goes dry when his eyes fall on the sharp cheekbones and the hazel, mischievous eyes.  
  
"Bullshit," the guy says, letting the word roll in his mouth, "that bitch was too ugly to eat."  
  
Everyone laughs at it, and with every step he takes towards Jensen the more the teacher wants to step back. He can't show any weakness, though, or he'll be done for, so he stands still, his gaze locked with Jared's.  
  
When he's basically in Jensen's face, he adds, "I fed her to my dogs." Jensen snorts, but apart from that he thinks he's doing pretty well in showing no interest in the kid so up close and personal.  
Jared gets so close Jensen can breathe in his spicy aftershave with every breath he takes and once he brushes Jensen's clothed arm with the tip of his finger, Jensen can't help flinching. In Jared's gaze a predatory gleam shines when he bends towards Jensen's ear and whispers against his neck.  
"I'll be happy to eat _you_ , though."  
  
Jensen is afraid the guy can hear his heart thumping loud when he finally manages to ask with a slightly wavering voice what his name is.  
  
The guy smirks. "Jared Padalecki," he answers.  
  
His friends cheer, and Jensen thinks he even hears someone saying _Jared, you're the man_.  
  
"Jared! Jared! Jared! Jared!" They call, and Jared lifts both of his arms, basking in the glory.  
  
Jensen understands that there is no way, no how, he can get through to these kids, so he takes his messenger bag and stomps out of the room, slamming the door behind him.  
  
Inside the classroom, the students go back to rapping.  
  
He walks up to Chad's room and knocks violently on it. He hears Chad asking one of his students to take over the class and then his footsteps approach, as Jensen paces up and down the hallway, his fists clenched and the vein in his neck pulsing with rage.  
  
And still, even through the red curtain of anger which is covering his mind, he can't stop picturing Jared's sculpted torso straining to fit into that tight wife beater.  
  
"Fuck," he mutters, banging his head against the wall a couple of times before Chad gets there and pulls him away.  
  
"Whoa, Jen, easy," he starts, but Jensen lifts a hand.  
  
"What happened to Miss Cortese?" He asks.  
  
Chad fidgets, "She, uh, she quit."  
"Why?"  
  
Chad scratches at the back of his neck. "Well, let's just say that she was a very-high-strung individual."  
  
Jensen glares at him. "What, did she have a breakdown?" He asks then, snarling.  
  
"No, she quit _before_ that," Chad corrects him. "One of the substitutes, Lauren, now _she_ had a breakdown, a spectacular one, I might add." Chad shrugs. "That's how _they_ weed them out," he concludes, pointing at Jensen's classroom.  
  
Jensen's eyes widen. "Who are these kids, rejects from hell?!" He exclaims, frustrated.  
  
"No, Jen." Chad says, as he squeezes his shoulder. "They're bright kids, with little or no educational skills and a lot of what we politely call _social_ problems."  
  
Jensen narrows his eyes. "Dammit, Murray, you could have at least _warned_ me!" He objects, looking pissed.  
  
Chad gets mad too. "Hey, Jensen, you said you wanted to teach. Was that a lot of bull or what?"  
  
"No!" Jensen exclaims, shaking his head vigorously. He wants to teach, he's dying to teach, but-  
"I can't teach _them_! Jesus Christ, Chad, look at me!" He points at his clothes and then holds his arms open.  
  
However, Chad won't let him off the hook that easily. "Sure you can, pal. All you gotta do is get their attention."  
  
"How?"  
  
Chad winks at him. "That's for you to find out."  
  
"Easy for you to say," Jensen hisses, as Chad marches triumphantly back to his students.

 

  
  
After a night spent on all the books he had been given, when Jensen wakes up he simply stares at his closet. Assertive discipline is not going to work with these guys, he thinks, the only chance he has at reaching them is trying to get at their level. He's not sure he'll be any good at it, but he's not going to give up without even trying. "Okay, you little bastards," he mutters, as he throws all his clothes away. 

 

  
  
When the students enter the classroom, they all stare in shock at the guy sitting behind the desk.  
  
He's wearing tight fitting jeans, black combat boots and an evidently non-ironed dark shirt. Over his clothes, a black leather jacket underlines his narrowed hips.  
  
His feet are crossed on the desk, and he's reading the program, sneaking a glance from over the top of his glasses at the kids as they take their seats. They wouldn't probably realize he's Jensen if his name wasn't written on the blackboard.  
  
"Here he is," one of the girl says, entering. Her friend, behind her, snickers. "Man, didn't you get enough yesterday?" She adds.  
  
Jensen just shrugs and keeps on reading.  
  
A guy arches an eyebrow at him, but apart from muttering something that may be _how you doin'_ he doesn't seem willing to pick up a fight.  
  
As soon as they are all inside, Jensen stands up and picks up the chalk. _I'm a US Marine,_ he writes under his name, eliciting an audible gasp from his class. _Does anyone know karate?_  
  
A petite brunette just looks at him and snorts. " _You_ are a Marine?" She asks. "A _for real_ Marine?" She sounds mocking, but Jensen doesn't follow, choosing to grin instead.  
  
"Discharged, but yeah."  
  
Jared kicks his bench as he slowly sits back up, just to attract Jensen's attention, then he provocatively licks his lips. "I'll try some karate with you, Mr. Ackles," he says as the class cheers, his cat-like eyes running appreciatively along Jensen's body.  
  
Jensen shivers, but paces a little, hoping no one noticed. That kid is unnerving and he still isn't sure how to treat him. Then, a sudden thought. He can't keep running from him, he can't give Jared such power or he will end up crushing Jensen under his boot, so he lifts his chin and smirks at Jared. "I'm sorry, Jared, but I'm not allowed to touch a student," he replies in the same low, flirty tone, crossing his arms on his chest. Then he winks at him. "But hey, if you really think you know what you're doin', come up here!"  
  
Jared grins and shakes his head, as one of the other guys shouts at him that it sounds like a challenge and Jared can't step back. "Oh, I know what I'm doing," he says, slouching back in his chair, "but there's no sense doin' it if you can't touch me."  
  
Jensen vaguely wonders when exactly the rest of the room disappeared and his mind became solely focused on Jared, but the faint thought is enough to bring him back to earth. He clears his throat, scratching at his neck, and breaks the eye contact, looking around the room. "Anybody else know any karate?" He asks, ignoring the way Jared's still staring at him. "What about you?" He points towards one of the twins, who stands up immediately strutting towards the front of the class.  
  
"Ryan Kowarsky, and yeah, I know some motherfuckin' karate," the kid answers.  
  
Jensen chuckles as the guy attempts a move on him. "Easy, tiger!" He exclaims. "Who else? Hey, what about you?" He looks at a smaller guy, blond and with big blue eyes, who's wearing a hand me down shirt and a dirty wife beater.  
  
"Jake Abel. I know enough," he says, standing up as well. The guys look quite mismatched, but that's exactly what Jensen was aiming for. "I'm gonna take you down, motherfucker," Jake states, staring at Ryan, but there's no actual fire behind the words.  
  
They probably get along well.  
  
Ryan and Jake start moving around the classroom, clumsily attempting a couple of flying kicks while the rest of the class laughs.  
  
"Wait, wait, wait, whoa!" Jensen exclaims, stopping them. Then he sneers at them. "You guys don't know _shit,_ " he states, and the class goes completely silent.  
  
"I heard that a Marine can kill a man with his bare hands. Is that true?" Ryan’s twin asks, approaching Jensen.  
  
Jensen looks at his hands and clenches and unclenches them a couple of times. "Absolutely," he answers.  
  
The twin looks at him, pondering, for a second. Then, without any warning, he attempts to punch him. Jensen sees his arm coming, grabs it and holds it while he turns the guy and slams him against the wall. " _Never_ do that to a Marine," he hisses. The guy nods fervently, and Jensen lets him go. "What's your name?"  
  
The guy salutes him. "Dan Kowarsky, Ryan's brother."  
  
Jensen nods at him. "Good arm, Dan."  
  
The guy beams and sits back down.  
  
Jensen turns back towards Ryan and Jake. "Okay, here's how it starts," he explains, showing them. "Ryan, move into Jake like you're gonna hit him." As Ryan gets into position, Jensen nods. "Jake, move back into Ryan and grab his wrist. Then turn your body away from him so that your butt is against his stomach. Okay?" Once Jake is exactly as Jensen told him to, Ryan tightens his hold on him and playfully humps him.  
  
"Get off me, you homo!" Jake squeaks, jumping back.  
  
The classroom's laughing again, and Jensen's trying really hard not to follow their example. "No, guys, it's not like I would encourage... _that_ during my hours, what do you think? It's supposed to be a _hip throw_." Jake blinks and stares suspiciously at Ryan, whose smug expression talks louder than any words. "Come on, let's try it again," Jensen says, turning towards Jake. "This time, as you move in, you're gonna take your other hand and grab onto his shoulder. Try it."  
  
Jake follows Jensen's instructions and, almost miraculously, Ryan goes down with a _oof_.  
  
"Great!" Jensen exclaims, and the class applauds as Jake takes a little bow before going back to his seat.  
  
Ryan stands back up, shaking his head. "Man, he'll never shut up now," he mutters.  
  
Jensen smiles at him and then takes a deep breath, steadying himself for the following phase of his plan. "That was A work, guys, you'd make good Marines," he starts. "Listen, if you wanna pass, all you have to do is _try_." He walks in between the benches, then suddenly stops. "Because at this point, in my class, everyone has an A." A loud chorus of _what?_ and _is he for real?_ raises. Jensen nods, and continues. "It's up to you to keep it though," he adds, and Dan narrows his eyes at him.  
  
"Bullshit."  
  
Jensen opens his mouth to answer, but his brother, Ryan, slaps Dan's neck. "Why don't you shut up, man?! What if it ain't bullshit? Ain't never had no fuckin' A before, and neither have you."  
  
Dan's eyes shift and Jensen knows he's won the first battle.  
  
War's still gonna be long, though.

 

 

_TBC..._


	2. LESSON 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
  
As soon as Jensen's class is over, Robert stops by and asks him to go see the principal. The few students still in class whistle.  
  
"White Bread in trouble!" A girl exclaims.  
  
Jensen rolls his eyes and goes to the Principal's office. The door is ajar, so Jensen opens it.  
The Principal, Misha Collins, is a stern man with piercing, cold blue eyes and spiky brown hair.  
He's on the phone, but he cuts the conversation short and glares at Jensen. "Mr Ackles, this is an office. We knock before we enter."  
  
Jensen feels his cheeks burn at the stern tone the man uses with him. "I'm sorry," he mutters, and the Principal smirks.  
  
"Please," he invites Jensen to sit, motioning towards one of the chairs in front of his desk.  
The Vice Principal is sitting in the other one. "Now, Mr Ackles, I'm taking into consideration the fact that you're new, and therefore don't know that teaching karate is against school policy and can lead to a lawsuit in case of an injury." His voice is plain and dry, and Jensen feels a sudden wave of dislike towards this man. "You can easily avoid this kind of error, though: you just have to follow the curriculum dictated by the Board of Education."  
  
Now, this is a topic Jensen wanted to talk about, so he's not going to miss his chance. "Well, sir, that's almost impossible," he starts, "most of my students don't even know what a verb is."  
  
Robert snorts. "If you're going to teach them, I'm sure you can find a way."  
  
Jensen narrows his eyes and takes a harlequin novel from his bag. "If I'm going to teach them, I have to get their attention! And I can't do it using _this_!"  
  
The book, entitled _My darling, my hamburger_ , is a crass stupid novel and, as per Mrs Cortese plan, is the recommended reading for his class.  
  
The Principal looks at Jensen, annoyed. "Mr Ackles, that _is_ the approved curriculum for second period."  
  
Jensen's mouth drops open. "Are you _serious_?!" He exclaims.  
  
The Principal shakes his head. "I know that the newer the teacher, the smarter he _thinks_ he is, but I'm afraid you're just going to have to go along with our policies. Even if you don't agree with them," he adds, as an afterthought.  
  
Jensen's hands tremble but he curtly nods.  
  
It's not like he can do anything else.

 

 

  
  
In the morning, Chad walks up to Jensen as he enters the building. "I heard you had a meeting with Collins and his minion yesterday," he says. "Don't let them get to you."  
  
Jensen lifts up his chin, a resolute expression on his face. "I'm not. In fact, I'm going to challenge the entire curriculum."  
  
Chad chuckles. "That's my boy! And how are you planning on doing it, if I may ask?"  
  
Jensen opens his bag and shows Chad what's inside. "My own secret weapon," he answers, batting Chad's hand away when he tries to sneak it inside.

 

 

  
  
On the blackboard, Jensen has written the sentence _Never shoot a homeboy_.  
  
He thinks strong, shocking sentences are the best way to get his students' attention.  
  
He picks up a candy bar from the desk and uses it to point at the words on the blackboard.  
  
"So, _never_ is-"  
  
"Adverb!" They all shout.  
  
Jensen smiles, nods and throws candy bars to them.  
  
"What about _homeboy_?" He asks.  
  
"Noun" Ryan states, standing up.  
  
"Correct!" Jensen answers, and Ryan makes a grabby hands move.  
  
"Then give me my damn candy bar," he says, as Jensen grins and complies.  
  
"Poetry will be a piece of cake for you guys. You're sharp," Jensen states.  
  
"How come you keep talking about poetry?" Dan asks. "What's poetry got to do with this shit?"  
  
Jensen shrugs. "Well, because if you can read poetry, you can read just about anything. When you're done with poetry, you're ready for a bear."  
  
Jared snickers. "I'm always ready to see _you_ bare," he states.  
  
The room laughs and Jensen as always tries as hard as he can to ignore the comment.  
  
It's getting more difficult every day.  
  
"Ok, then," he says moving on and taking a stack of papers out of his bag. "Here's the bear."  
  
Everyone groans at the sight.  
"What the fuck is that?!" Jake growls.  
  
"I just happen to have copies of a poem, written by the greatest poet." The class is still whining and complaining, so Jensen sighs. "Listen up!" He shouts, in order to be heard above the noise, "when we finish this assignment, I'm gonna take all of you to a place that has the highest parachute jumps, the biggest roller coaster, the best rides, the most delicious hot dogs, the hardest games and the best prizes in the world."  
  
The students instantly shut up and stare at him as if he has just grown a second head.  
  
Dan lifts his hand. "And we don't gotta pay for it?" He asks, doubtfully.  
  
Jensen shakes his head. "Not a dime."  
  
"So then, who pays?" The petite brunette retaliates.  
  
"The Board of Education," Jensen answers, and another girl snorts. Jensen smiles. "Sounds good?" He asks, but before they can answer, Jared abruptly stands, throwing his chair on the floor. He looks _pissed_.  
  
"That's _bullshit_ , man!" He exclaims, glaring at Jensen. "Since when has the Board of Education done anything for us, huh?"  
  
The snorting girl nods vehemently. "Yeah, we fuckin' barely get lunch."  
  
Jensen drops his book on the desk. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Jared," he says, staring at him, trying to convey all the faith he has in them through his eyes.  
  
Everyone's looking dejected and not listening to him anymore, though; Jared's glance is piercing and accusing, like he feels betrayed by Jensen, and it hurts in places Jensen didn't even know it could.  
  
The bell rings, and the students leave the room, muttering to themselves.  
  
Jensen's shoulders drop, and he looks at his hands, feeling defeated.  
  
What else can he do?  
  
Then there's a cough coming from in front of him, and when he looks up, the petite brunette is staring at him. "Mr Ackles, a word to the wise," she says. "If you wanna get the class to listen, you have to get Jared on your side."  
  
Jensen blinks. "And you are—"  
  
The girl smiles, friendly. "I'm Sandy. Sandy McCoy, I'm Jared's girlfriend. No one knows him as well as I do, and I know he wants to trust you, but he's been betrayed too many times to do so all by himself. It depends on you, Mr Ackles."  
  
Jensen is stunned into silence, and when Sandy realizes he's not going to answer, she just nods and walks away.  
  
Jensen finally snaps out of his stupor, and calls her back. "Sandy?" She's at the door, but she stops and turns towards Jensen once more. He smiles. "Thank you."  
  
Sandy shrugs. "You better be for real," she says before leaving.  
  
Jensen sits back at his desk, unwraps a candy bar and munches on it, as he thinks about Sandy's words.  
  
Finally, he nods to himself.  
  
"I'll get you, you little fucker," he hisses.

 

 

  
  
" _Poetry?! These_ guys?!" Chad sounds shocked and Jensen glares at him.  
  
"Why _not_ these guys?" He retaliates, and Chad lifts his hands up in apology.  
  
"Fine, go for it! Geez."  
  
Jensen ponders. "I gotta find a gimmick first, you know, something to grab their attention with."  
He turns towards Chad.  
  
"Who's your favorite poet, Chad?" He asks.  
  
Chad rolls his eyes. "Oh, there are so many! How do I choose?"  
  
Jensen slaps his shoulder. "I'm serious, asshole," he growls, and Chad snorts.  
  
"Oh, ok. Dylan."  
  
Jensen stops walking and gapes at him. "Get out!"  
  
Chad looks offended. "Why not?"  
  
Jensen blinks. "Er, I don't—you know, he's not for everybody, that's all. A little long-winded, don't you think? Maybe it's because he wrote drunk."  
  
"He had a drinking problem?"  
  
"Well, the guy's Welsh. There ain't a lot to do there."  
  
Chad scratches the back of his neck, confused. "I thought he was from Minnesota."  
  
Jensen smirks. "If the guy's your favorite poet, you might want to read up on him a little bit, Chad." He suggests. "He was Welsh and he drank himself to death."  
  
Chad's eyes widen. "Dead?! He's not dead, I saw him yesterday on MTV!"  
  
Jensen crosses his arms on his chest. "You saw Dylan Thomas on MTV?"  
  
Chad cracks up. "No way I was talking about that old coot! I was talking about _Bob_ Dylan, you freak."  
  
Jensen can't help laughing with him.  
  
Then the misunderstanding gives him the idea he was looking for.

 

 

  
  
" _Hey Mr Tambourine man, play a song for me; I'm not sleepy and there's no place I'm going to_." Jake reads the lines and then looks at Jensen, puzzled.  
  
"Thank you, Jake. Alona? Next three lines, please."  
  
" _Hey Mr Tambourine man, play a song for me; in the jingle-jangle morning I'll come following you_."  
  
A hand raises from the back of the room. "What does that mean?" Dan asks.  
  
Jensen shrugs. "What do you think it means?"  
  
Dan blinks. "Some guy has a tambourine and this other guy wants him to play it 'cause he can't sleep."  
  
Ryan stands up. "Yeah, but how come he wants to play the tambourine? Don't he got a radio or somethin'? I mean, a tambourine is not like the most sleep-inducing instrument, you know what I'm sayin'?"  
  
Jensen nods. "That's a good point. It is a weird choice. So, what if I told you that Mr. Tambourine Man is a code name?"  
  
"A code name for what?" Another of the guys asks.  
  
Jensen looks at him. "A drug dealer."  
  
Jake's mouth drops open. "No shit! Really?!"  
  
"A lot of people think so," Jensen explains. "This song is from the '60s, when you couldn't sing about drugs, so they had to make up codes."  
  
"So what was the code?" Sandy asks. "What does _Hey Mr Tambourine man, play a song for me_ mean?"  
  
" _Play a song for me_ means _give me the stuff,_ " Ryan answers.  
  
"Yeah, it's like he's still high, but he's kinda low and shaky. Hence, _jingle-jangle,_ " Sandy adds.  
  
Jake looks psyched. "And he needs something, like a big hit of crack or heroin and shit, so he goes looking for the Tambourine Man to get it!"  
  
Jensen turns towards Jared. "So, what do you think, Jared? Do you think Jake is right?"  
  
Jared lifts his gaze on Jensen, slowly, and grins. "That's too personal to discuss," he says.  
  
Jensen arches an eyebrow. "You mean, you’re choose not to participate in the discussion?"  
  
Jared shrugs. "Not about something so personal."  
  
Jensen licks his lips, nervously, and only once he's done he catches the hungry way Jared's been following the movement.  
  
He swallows and turns away from him.  
  
Again.

 

 

  
  
That afternoon, just before he goes home, Jensen stops by at the bar next to the school, and surprisingly Chad is there, correcting a pile of his students’ homework. "Hi, Jen! Come here, I have new pictures of the rugrats to show you," he exclaims, motioning for Jensen to join him.  
  
Jensen snorts. "You know, people are supposed to ask first, Chad."  
  
"Suck it up."  
  
Jensen looks at the pictures, and his eyes soften. "They look like Sophia, thank _God,_ " he mutters, ignoring Chad's deadly glare. "How's she, by the way?" He asks.  
  
"Good." Chad answers, "she keeps asking me about you, she misses you, you know. We all do."  
Jensen's eyes shift on the side. "She wants you to come over for dinner," Chad adds.  
  
"We had some fun times," Jensen says, "you, Sophia, me and-what's her name?"  
  
Chad's smile is sad and regretful. "I remember."  
  
Jensen turns towards him. "I remember too, Chad. That's why it's hard for me to come to dinner."  
  
They drink their beers in silence for a while, until something comes to Chad's mind. "Seeing anybody?"  
  
Jensen blinks. "Wha—no. Why do you ask?"  
  
Chad shrugs. "Well, I don't know. You’ve taken your ring off, for starters. When?"  
  
Jensen realizes he's been playing with his naked finger since he sat down, and stops, looking at the empty patch of white skin where his wedding ring used to be. "I don't—I don't know. When I changed my way of dressing, I guess. It didn't fit in my new image," he answers, but he knows it’s a lie. He took it off after the first time he laid his eyes on Jared fucking Padalecki.  
  
Chad probably senses that there's something Jensen is not telling him, and he's not the kind of friend who lets things slide so that you don't have to feel uncomfortable. "It's been over six months, Jen. No one would blame you if—”  
  
"I'm not ready, Chad." Jensen interrupts him, his tone dry and final. "Besides, you guys were the best of friends. What are you sitting here with me for? Hell, why does Sophia invite me over to dinner?"  
  
Chad narrows his eyes. "Jen, she was Sophia's best friend. _Was_ is the operative word. She isn't worth your spit." Jensen looks at him for a second, then nudges his shoulder and sloppily kisses his cheek. "Ewww! What was that for?!" Chad squeaks, drying his face with the sleeve of his jacket.  
  
Jensen smiles. "Just tell Sophia she's a lucky lady, Chad."

 

 

  
  
Jensen gets to school late the following morning. He dreamed about Danneel during the night and that never helps him sleep well. The shouts coming from inside the school are more than enough to wake him up immediately and he runs inside just as Jared, Jake and a guy from another class, Zac something, start swinging at each other. Sandy, Ryan, Dan and the rest of the students are staying back, looking on as they fight.  
  
"I gave you your money, man! 350 bucks!" Jake says.  
  
"Really?" Jared sneers.  
  
Jake narrows his eyes. "Are you calling me a liar?!"  
  
"What, do you think I'm fuckin' stupid?!"  
  
"Hey, don't get loud, motherfucker!" Zac exclaims, getting in the middle.  
  
Jared clenches his fists and towers on the other two, his eyes sparkling with fury. "I'm gonna kick your fuckin' ass!"  
  
"Fuck you, man!"  
  
"Jump back, motherfucker!"  
  
Jensen runs down the stairs, trying to get the rest of the students to move away in order to get to the fight faster. "Hey, stop it!" he screams, standing between them and keeping them apart with his arms wide open.  
  
"Bitch," Jake hisses.  
  
Jensen glares at him. "One of you makes a move and I will call security," he states.  
  
"Bullshit!" Zac exclaims, but Jensen is not even looking at him. He's looking at the students assembled around them.  
  
"Okay, people, it's all over. **MOVE**!" He snaps, and everyone leaves the hall. Then he turns back to his students, grabs Jared's arm and shakes him. "You are stronger than these two put together, and you know it!" He says, ignoring Zac's and Jake's protests. Jensen tries to calm himself, taking a few deep breaths and closing his eyes for a moment. "You could all be expelled if I report this to the office, are you aware of that?" The guys at least have the decency to look ashamed. "Okay, if you give me your word that it ends here, I'll forget it." He glares at Jared.  
"Is it over?" he asks, still clenching his arm.  
  
Jared shrugs. "Yeah."  
  
Jensen turns to Zac and Jake. "Absolutely," they say.  
  
Jensen stares at them. "Fine, I trust you," he says in the end, "now get to your classes." Once both Zac and Jake are gone, Jensen finally lets Jared's arm go. "If you hit those kids, you'll pay for it, Jared. I swear."  
  
Jared seems about to say something, but then he just growls and leaves, shrugging away from Sandy. Sandy sighs and turns to Jensen. "You shouldn't have done that," she says, "no one fucks with Jared. Everybody knows that if you make a deal with Jared and you fuck him over, you get your locker smashed in with your head."  
  
Jensen climbs up the stairs after her. "Well, maybe now they'll all have the time to think about it, before they get to the locker-smashing stage," he states, but Sandy snorts.  
  
"They're gonna fight, no matter what they tell you, Mr. Ackles."  
  
Jensen stops abruptly. "When? Now?!"

 

 

 

_TBC..._

 

 


	3. LESSON 3

 

 

 

  


 

 

  
  
The sirens of the police car entering the school yard hit Jensen like a punch in the stomach.  
He gets outside, and sees both Jake and Zac, bloody and bruised, as they're taken away.  
"Wait a minute, just-give me a minute! I'm his teacher," he says to the cop handling Jake. "You promised!" He accuses him.  
  
Jake looks like shit, with a swollen eye and a split lip. "Yeah but we had to or we couldn't walk around with our heads up no more." Jensen feels lost, but Jake lifts his chin. "We have a reputation to protect. You a Marine! You should understand! Like, if America didn't stand up, everyone would attack it." Jake sighs. "Well, in our neighborhood if you don't stand up, you can't walk down the street."  
  
Jensen feels the guilt pooling inside. "And I made it worse, making you and Zac look bad in front of everyone by saying that Jared was stronger than the both of you. Fuck, I'm sorry, Jake."  
  
Jake's expression finally seems to relax a bit. "Don't feel bad," he answers, offering Jensen a little smile, "you thought you was helpin' us. It's okay."  
  
The policeman comes by again, telling Jensen they have to take the kids home and they drive away.  
Jensen stays there for a while, until the car disappears, then he turns and stomps towards the detention room where Jared's been taken.  


 

 

  
  
When Jared sees Jensen entering the room, he rolls his eyes but doesn't say a word. Jensen sits next to him, and takes out a first aid kit. "Nasty cut," he states, as he takes out cotton and alcohol to clean it up. Jared looks away, trying to ignore him, but Jensen considers it’s probably quite difficult to ignore someone when their hands are on your face, so he assumes Jared _is_ listening to him. "You mind telling me what the fight was about in the first place?"  
  
Jared flinches at the sharp burning of the alcohol, but doesn't answer.  
  
Jensen sighs. "I really would like to know what happened. I'm not gonna make any trouble for you," he says. Then he grabs Jared's jaw and turns his face, forcing Jared to look at him. "Was it worth it?"  
  
Jared breaks free. "Yeah. Yeah, it was," he answers.  
  
"Why?!"  
  
Jared punches the wooden table, hard, making Jensen jump. "Because it felt good hittin' him in the face!"  
  
Jensen stands up and crosses his arms on his chest. "You like to hit people, huh?" He asks. "Why? You feel angry a lot of the time?"  
  
Jared stares at him, then snorts. "Oh, so what? Now you're gonna try and psychoanalyze me? You're gonna try and figure me out? I'll help you." He stands up too and steps closer to Jensen, cornering him against the wall. Jensen swallows noisily, and for a second Jared seems lost in the movement of his Adam's apple. Then he gets back in control and stares into Jensen's eyes, as he talks in a low, heated voice. "I come from a broken home, and we're poor. Okay?"  
  
Jensen is shaking, and he really hopes Jared won't notice. "I would really like to help you, Jared," he says, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible.  
  
"Oh, thank you very much," Jared mocks him, getting even closer, so close that now their chests brush against each other every time one of them takes a breath. "And how would you like to do that? You're gonna give me some good advice? You're gonna get me off the streets?! Well, forget it!" Jared hits the wall next to Jensen's head, and Jensen closes his eyes. "How the fuck are you gonna save me from my life, huh?" He hisses, straight into Jensen's ear. When Jensen doesn't answer, Jared steps back and throws an annoyed glance at the teacher, still with his back against the wall. "I see the same fuckin' movies you do," Jared adds, then he sits again, his back to Jensen.  
  
Jensen would like to say a million of things, but none of them is the right one, none of them will get to Jared. So, as soon as his heart has calmed a little, he leaves, Jared's words echoing in his head.  


 

 

  
  
When Jensen rings the Abels' doorbell, he's still not sure why he’s decided to go see the parents of one of his students.  
  
Maybe it's because of what Jake said about honor, and because Jensen thought about which kind of strict parents the kid must have to be so focused on his role in the hierarchy of the neighborhood.  
Or maybe he simply wants to be sure Jake's ok. Jake's mom lets him in, and Jensen finds himself in a room full of kids, of different ages. Jake is sitting on the couch, looking ashamed and broken, and his father is glaring daggers at him from the opposite corner of the room. As soon as Jake's mum succeeds in getting the kids out of the room, a heavy silence falls on them.  
  
The first in breaking it is Jake's dad. "We know why you're here, Mr. Ackles," he starts. "I warned Jake to stay out of trouble."  
  
"He's first in our family to stand a chance of graduating high school," Jake's mom adds.  
"So," Jake's dad continues, "he gonna get punished _big_ for what he done. Don't you worry about that."  
  
"But—but he didn't do anything wrong!" Jensen objects.  
  
"But he’s been expelled for three days!" Jake's dad retaliates, sounding surprised.  
  
"Yeah, I know. But he didn't start the fight. He was defending himself from a bigger boy, protecting himself," Jensen explains.  
  
Jake's mom blinks. "Why’d they send him home?" She asks then.  
  
"Oh, it's just school policy. It gives the other boy time to cool down." Jake's parents don't look convinced, so Jensen smiles and goes on. "Actually, I'm here because I just wanted to tell you both personally what a pleasure it's been having Jake in my class this semester." Jake lifts his head, as his eyes widen, and stares at Jensen. "You must be very proud of him," he adds, smiling further at Jake. "Jake's very bright, he's funny and articulate. The truth is—he's one of my favorites."  
  
Jake's face lightens up, and his mom looks like she's about to cry.  
  
"It's a miracle," his dad mutters, "It’s a miracle."  


 

 

  
  
" _I will not go down underground 'cause somebody tells me that death's comin' 'round._ This is another Dylan poem; is that a code or does that just mean what it says?"  
  
No one answers.  
  
Jensen takes his glasses off and looks at them; everyone's looking somewhere else, like they're trying to avoid his gaze. He shrugs and goes on. " _And I will not carry myself down to die, when I go to my grave my head will be high_. What does that mean?"  
  
Still no answer.  
  
"Anybody?" When the girl he’s looking at stubbornly turns her head away, Jensen has had enough. He drops the paper on the desk and crosses his arms. "Is there something I should know?" he asks.  
  
Alona sneers. "Fine, I'll tell you. You ratted on Jake, Zac and Jared." Once she finishes talking, the whole rooms chimes in.  
  
"Yeah, you got Jared put into detention and Jake and Zac suspended!"  
  
"It wasn't none of your business! You said you wouldn't tell!"  
  
"Now their parents are going to kick their fuckin' asses."  
  
"I told you he was full of shit."  
  
" _And_ he got Jared-"  
  
"Whoa, stop it! I didn't rat on anybody. Do you wanna talk about this?!" Jensen exclaims, frustrated by the accusations they're showering him with.  
  
"Like we have any choices in this room," Alona mutters.  
  
Jensen narrows his eyes. "If you all feel that strongly about it, leave the room," he says. When the students look at him, confused, he shrugs. "Yeah. I mean nobody's forcing you to be here. You _do_ have a choice, Alona. You can stay, or you can leave."  
  
"Man, why are you playing this game? We don't have a choice," one of the quietest guys, Corbin, objects. "If we leave, we don't get to graduate. If we stay, we gotta put up with you."  
  
Jensen arches an eyebrow. "There you go. That's a choice, isn't it? You either don't graduate or you have to put up with me. It may not be a choice you like, but it _is_ a choice."  
  
"You don't understand nothing!" Alona exclaims, "you don't come from where we live. You're not _bussed_ here!"  
  
"Do you have a choice to get on that bus?" Jensen asks, getting closer to Alona's desk.  
  
"You come and live in my neighborhood for a week, and then you tell me if you got a choice," Alona retaliates.  
  
Jensen slams his hands on Alona's desk. "There are lots of people who live in your neighborhood and choose _not_ to get on that bus, Alona. They choose to go out and sell drugs, they choose to go out and kill people, but they choose _not_ to get on that bus." He steps back and looks around, until his eyes are inevitably drawn to Jared's who is staring right back. For once, the fire in Jared's irises doesn't burn, it seems like it’s warming him up, so Jensen decides not to cower away and simply reciprocates the stare. "The people who choose to get on that bus, which are all of you, are the people who are saying _I will not carry myself down to die, when I go to my grave my head will be high_!" He states, fists clenching and a resolute expression on his face. " _That_ is a choice! There are no victims in this classroom!" He exclaims, finally breaking the eye contact with Jared in order to turn towards the blackboard and write a few sentences down.  
  
"Why do you care, anyway?" Sandy asks. "You're just here for the money."  
  
Jensen snickers. "Because I make a _choice_ to care, and believe me, sweetie, the money ain't _that_ good."  
  
A few more students mutter insults and curses, until Jared's voice stuns all of them into silence. "Read it again, Mr Ackles."  
  
Jensen's head snaps up. Jared is smiling at him, but there's no mockery in his smile. It's tentative, hopeful, and the most beautiful smile Jensen has ever seen. Which is why no one can blame Jensen for not immediately grasping the meaning of what Jared is saying. "What?"  
  
"Read those lines you just read again. Please."  
  
Everyone turns towards Jared, but he keeps staring at Jensen, stubbornly, until he takes the paper from the desk and reads the first lines of the poem once more.  
  
Then, he lifts his eyes on Jared again, and the smile is still there, encouraging.  
  
Suddenly Jensen's lips go dry and he has to lick them before he can speak. "Does—does that mean just what it says?" He asks.  
  
Jared bites his lower lip, pondering. "No, it doesn't," he answers, finally. "It doesn't, because you wouldn't go underground if someone told you death was comin'. But you would go into the ground if you were already dead."  
  
Jensen blinks, shocked. It takes him a moment to recover and ask to the rest of the class if they agree, and once Jared has joined the discussion, everyone else slowly starts participating as well.  


 

 

  
  
When the bell rings, everyone leaves but Jared. Sandy stands up and looks at him quizzically, but he just tells her to go on and he'll catch up with her later. As soon as the last student is out, Jared stands up and closes the door. Then, he walks up to Jensen's desk but doesn't move too close. "You went to Jake's and Zac's house too yesterday, right?"  
  
Jensen nods, and just like that, the smile is back. "That's cool," Jared says. "You're ok, Mr. Ackles."  
And if his eyes say so much more, and if Jensen can feel butterflies fluttering in his stomach, well, neither of them acknowledges it.  


 

 

  
  
When Jensen thinks about it afterwards, he realizes that he should have known. Yeah, there are all the other students too and they move around the park together, but still, somehow, Jared is always close. When they get on the roller coaster, when they ride the bumper cars, even when they take the Ferris wheel, Jensen somehow finds Jared sitting next to him.  
  
It's a _date_.  
  
And it's wrong, irrational, confusing and downright complicated, but Jensen can't bring himself to care. He has to care, though, when, after they get hotdogs, Jared grabs his wrist and pulls him towards a secluded area, pushes him against a tree and covers Jensen's mouth with his.  
  
Every rational thought is devoured by Jared's talented lips, just as the breathy moans Jensen can't control.  
  
Jensen feels like he's just a witness as he sees and detachedly feels Jared drawing complicated patterns with his tongue on his teeth, until he finally parts his lips with a sigh and lets his tongue interlace with Jared's.  
  
They stay like that, exchanging lazy kisses which get more heated with every second of their making out session, until the firework show starts and the first bang startles them, forcing them apart; it's only then that oxygen starts to go back to Jensen's brain and the young man gets some control back.  
  
As soon as he does, he freaks out, and when Jared moves closer again, once it's clear that there's no immediate danger, Jensen stops him with a hand on his chest. "Wait, Jared. We—we can't do this."  
  
Jared smirks. "Why, because you're my teacher? It hasn't stopped you from drooling over me since day one."  
  
Jensen is too shocked by the whole situation that he doesn't even register the mockery. "That, and a lot of other reasons," he says instead. "What about Sandy, for example?"  
  
Jared's eyes soften, even though the lust keeps shining through. "You shouldn't worry about Sandy. Things between us are...different from what it looks like."  
  
Jensen glares at him.  
  
"Fine, fine!" Jared chuckles, lifting up his hands. "Have it your way, _Jensen_. I'm a patient guy, you know." He winks at Jensen and then struts away, to look for the others most probably.  
  
Jensen's left there, smelling Jared in the air, tasting Jared in his mouth.  
  
He's so fucked.  


 

 

  
  
As soon as Jensen enters the school building, Robert is on him, asking him to go to the Principal's office immediately.  
  
Jensen freezes.  
  
_Someone has seen him kissing Jared_.  
  
He's going to be fired and probably reported, he'll never teach again and his life will be over.  
He can already hear Danneel's laughter as she tells her friends that she was right about him since the beginning.  
  
What has gotten into him?! He should have known better!  
  
Jensen enters Misha's office visibly shaken, and as he sits in his usual chair he can feel his hands tremble.  
  
He hides them under his jacket.  
  
_Deny, deny, deny._  
  
"Mr. Ackles," the Principal starts, as cold and dry as ever. "You do realize that the School Board would have every right to insist on your dismissal." Jensen swallows, as cold sweat drenches the back of his shirt. Misha seems to gloat a little seeing him so distressed and goes on. "You informed no one, you got no permission slips..."  
  
Jensen lifts his head.  
  
_This_ is the matter?  
  
The fact that he took the kids to the amusement park?!  
  
He feels like laughing, but somehow contains his glee.  
  
This, he can fix.  
  
He blinks, faking surprise. "Oh, no, Mr Collins! There was no one to inform, this wasn't a—a programmed trip. The kids just decided to go to the amusement park instead of going to school at the last minute. Surprisingly, they let me come along."  
  
The Principal narrows his eyes. "So they paid for you, then."  
  
Jensen shakes his head. "No, I paid for them," he answers. "You know, I was just _so_ moved by the invitation that I had to compensate them somehow," he explains with a beaming smile.  
  
The Principal doesn't look moved at _all_. "This wasn't, by any chance, their reward for reading poetry, was it, Mr. Ackles?" He stares at Jensen with his piercing blue eyes, but Jensen doesn't waver.  
  
The guy's a dick, and he deserves to be tricked.  
  
So Jensen puts a hand on his heart. "In my class, Mr Collins, poetry is its own reward."  
  
He bats his eyelashes at the Principal, who looks flabbergasted.  
  
_Take that, you fucker,_ Jensen thinks.  


 

 

  
  
Sandy looks back at Jensen, puzzled. She has just read the first lines of the paper Jensen gave to her, and she's quite confused by the content. "This is a menu."  
  
"Yes, that is correct," Jensen says. "It's from The Flowering Peach, the best restaurant in town. Ever heard of it?" The students nod. Of course they have, the restaurant is _awesome_. "So, does it sound good?" Jensen asks. "Because whoever wins the Dylan-Dylan contest, goes there for dinner with me."  
  
"The _what_?" Ryan asks.  
  
Jensen picks up a piece of chalk and starts writing on the blackboard. "There's _Bob_ Dylan, who we've been reading, and then there's Dylan _Thomas_ , who also wrote poems." Jensen turns towards the class. "If you can find the poem written by Dylan Thomas that is like a poem written by Bob Dylan, you win the Dylan-Dylan contest."  
  
The kids start talking all together, but it's only one of them who catches Jensen's attention. Jared nods at him and lifts his thumb. _Good job._  


 

 

  


_TBC..._

 


	4. LESSON 4

 

 

  
  
The librarian looks in shock as the students from one of the most problematic classes fill up her library, checking books and taking notes. She never thought she'd see this day.  
  
Jared and Sandy are sitting together at a desk next to the window. Sandy is checking a collection of Dylan Thomas' poems, while Jared underlines the most important passages of the Bob Dylan's songs they studied in class.  
  
"You like him, don't you?" Sandy whispers.  
  
Jared drops the highlighter and looks nervously in every direction to check if anyone was listening before he hisses, "yeah, I do. But are you crazy? What would happen if someone heard you?"  
  
Sandy shrugs. "I'm done being afraid, Jared. And I'm done forcing you to live a life that's not yours."  
  
Jared caresses her cheek. "You need me, Sandy. Now more than ever. I'm going to stand by you, and that's final. Now, focus on those fucking poems, 'cause I, for one, want to get you in a nice tight dress and take your pretty ass to dinner."  
  
Sandy chuckles softly, and turns the page. "Oh, Jay! Listen to this. _Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light_."  
  
Jared blinks. "Where's the code? Where's the death?"  
  
Sandy rolls her eyes. "You idiot! All that stuff about night, that's _death_."  
  
Jared's face lightens up. "So, it's like he's saying _don't go gentle into that good **death**_."  
  
Sandy ponders. "But then, maybe _good_ it's sarcastic. Maybe what he's trying to say is _don't die easy_. Which has the same meaning as _I will not go down._ "  
  
Jared beams. "We just won ourselves a motherfucking chicken dinner!” He exclaims, and Sandy slaps him behind the neck. 

 

  
After class, Sandy stays back.  
  
"Oh, Sandy, congratulations for winning the contest!" Jensen says, hugging her. "You guys did great."  
  
Sandy blushes a little. "Actually, that's what I need to talk to you about. I can't go."  
  
"Why?" Jensen asks, surprised.  
  
"Because I have to work at this supermarket every night until June."  
  
Jensen sighs. "Isn't there any way to get out of it?"  
  
"No," Sandy answers, just as disappointed, "because of the work schedule and everything, you know. Thanks anyway."  
  
As she moves to leave, Jensen stops her, handing her the menu. "Wait, Sandy. If you can't come to dinner, then we'll bring dinner to you."  
  
Sandy blinks. "Really?!"  
  
Jensen arches an eyebrow. "Of course! I promised a dinner to the winners, you won so you get your prize. What kind of trust could I expect from you guys if I didn't keep my promises to you?"  
  
Sandy stares at her teacher for a long moment, before smiling. "I can see why he likes you so much," she mutters.  
  
"What?"  
  
She shakes her head. "Nothing. I just think you'll have a great time with Jared, Mr. Ackles. He's funny and quite charming when he wants to be."  
  
Jensen smiles back, not sure he understands, but strangely enough it doesn't feel weird talking about Jared with Sandy. Not as weird as it should, anyway. 

 

  
Jensen didn't consider the traffic on a Saturday night, so he gets to the restaurant a little late.  
Jared's already standing next to the entrance, as he looks nervously to the left and to the right.  
  
_Does he really think I'd stand him up?_ Jensen thinks, slightly amused by the display of a very much human Jared. "Sorry I'm late" he says, approaching him, and Jared shakes his head, smiling sheepishly.  
  
He probably feels out of place.  
  
"Nah, it's ok. I just got here myself," he answers.  
  
Jensen looks at him, and stops breathing for a second. Jared's wearing dark jeans, _without holes_ , a green shirt and his hair combed back, so for the first time his face is not hidden behind his long bangs. "You look amazing," he stutters.  
  
Jared beams. "How 'bout this jacket?" He asks, showing it off. It's a leather jacket, which still smells like new.  
  
"It's fantastic, Jay." Jensen says. As soon as he realizes he slipped, he tries to correct himself, shaking his head.  
  
"Come on, Jensen. We're going out to dinner. None of that teacher/student crap tonight, ok?"  
  
Now it's Jensen's turn to look sheepish. "Ok," he answers, as they enter in the restaurant.  
  
As they approach the door, Jared stops.  
  
"What's wrong?" Jensen asks, puzzled.  
  
Jared smirks, opening the door. "Ladies first," he states with a little bow.  
  
Jensen glares at him, but his lips are already curving into a smile. "Oh, fuck you, Padalecki," he mutters.  
  
"Just say when," Jared retorts, getting inside before Jensen can reply.

 

  
Jared frowns, as he tries to read the menu.  
  
Just as he opens his mouth to ask something to Jensen, the waiter comes by, starting to list all the specials of the day. Being a pretty high quality restaurant, all the dishes are in French, which is why Jared looks completely lost and embarrassed.  
  
Jensen notices he's fidgeting, and asks the waiter for a few more minutes to decide.  
  
"Are you sure they got chicken?" Jared asks doubtfully.  
  
Jensen nods. "Here it is. _Poulet_." Jared's forehead is still frowned, and Jensen sighs. “Jared, when the waiter comes back, you may as well talk to him. It will be good practice for your summer job interviews."  
  
Jared narrows his eyes. "I don't need your help with interviews, Jensen. I'm fine on my own."  
  
Jensen crosses his arms. "Oh yes? How many jobs have you had? Legal ones," he adds when he sees Jared's about to answer.  
  
Jared closes his mouth and looks offended, but doesn't say anything, so Jensen considers him satisfied. "I can't talk to that guy, he probably think I'm weird, or a criminal, or both," he mutters in the end.  
  
Jensen waves a hand dismissively. "He does not! He just can't help but notice your...natural charm. _And_ the fact that you're having dinner with a man almost ten years older than you."  
  
Jared blinks. "...wait a minute. You're-you're 28?!"  
  
Jensen blushes a little. "26, actually. But yeah." Since Jared is still staring at him with a shocked expression on his face, Jensen huffs. "Jared, really, how old did you think I was? I mean, I'm a teacher. I couldn't be 20, right?"  
  
Jared just shakes his head, as if he's trying to clear it up, then looks stubbornly into Jensen's eyes.  
"That doesn't change anything," he states, his voice firm and resolute.  
  
Jensen sighs. "No, it doesn't. Especially because I already knew how old I was." A couple of minutes pass by, then Jensen signals for the waiter to come over. "Just talk to him like you would anyone else," he whispers to Jared just before the man approaches their table.  
  
"I'll have the chicken. A _whole_ one," he adds as an afterthought, glaring at the waiter, who loosens his tie, evidently uncomfortable under Jared's scrutiny.  
  
Jared seems to consider his reaction satisfactory, because he looks away.  
  
"I'll have the same," Jensen says, "and one to go, please." The waiter blinks.  
  
"One—to go. Thank you, I—I guess." He resumes.  
  
As he leaves, Jensen mouths _very good_ to Jared, and the guy smiles at him, previous conversation already forgotten.

 

  
"Listen, Jensen," Jared starts, as they're already half way through dinner, "I was wondering maybe, like, in the next couple of days, if I—"  
  
The waiter walks by their table. "Is everything alright?"  
  
Jared glares at him, but Jensen arches an eyebrow at him. "Everything's fine, thank you" he answers, and the waiter leaves as quickly as he can.  
  
Jared sighs. "Now, don't be mad or anything, but I gotta be absent for a couple of days without you coming to my house. It's important."  
  
Jensen stares at him. "You'll have to tell me why."  
  
"I've got some shit to do."  
  
Jensen snorts. "You'll have to do better than that."  
  
Jared shrugs. "Fine, I gotta make some money to pay back this guy."  
  
Jensen takes a sip from his glass of wine. "Sorry, but this doesn't sound important enough to cut school."  
  
"It is! I gotta pay for this jacket," Jared explains. "I got it off the street from this guy for 200 dollars and he said he'd trust me for it until Friday."  
  
Jensen's eyes widen. "Why did you buy it on the street instead of in a store?!" He asks, and Jared gapes.  
  
"Have you any idea how much this would cost in a store?! I needed a nice jacket and fast, and I got it from him, 'cause he cut me a deal—"  
  
"Probably because he stole it, Jay." Jensen presses his thumbs against his temples. "So, are you gonna go out and get a job or are you gonna go out and steal too to pay him back?"  
  
Jared rolls his eyes. "I don't know yet, but one way or another I gotta pay him back or he'll kill me." Jared can't stand Jensen disappointed expression, so he exclaims "I didn't have nothing to wear!"  
  
Jensen feels the same pang of guilt he felt the morning of the fight, and realizes that once again it's all his fault. This time he can fix it, though. "Fine, then. I'll lend you the money," he states, before going back to eat.  
  
Jared chuckles bitterly. "I can't take your money! Teachers are poor, everyone knows that."  
  
Jensen looks back at him. "Well, you don't really have a choice, do you? If you don't pay the guy back, he will kill you. If you cut school, I'll tell your father and _he_ will kill you. The way I see it, I'm your only way out." Jared shakes his head, astounded, but Jensen's not done yet. "I do have one condition," he adds, "you have to pay me back on the day you graduate."  
  
Jared blinks. "But—but what if I don't graduate?" he asks, uncertain.  
  
Jensen smiles. “Then you'll never pay me back the money. But I know you, Jared, and I know that if you say you will, you'll kill yourself keeping your word."  
  
Jared keeps staring at Jensen without saying a word, while his hazel eyes turn tender, and then feral, in the space of a handful of moments. "Ask for the check," he growls, "because I need to touch you, and if we don't get out of here right now I'll throw you on this table and fuck everyone who's around to see it."  
  
Jensen swallows noisily and calls for the waiter.  
  
If his nod is a little shaky, no one seems to notice.

 

  
They get out of the restaurant and into Jensen's car without exchanging another single word.  
Jensen is too scared and hopeful at the same time, and he doesn't know exactly what to do; after all, he did encourage Jared's flirting, and he does want him with a passion he doesn't remember feeling ever before, but he's still Jared's _teacher_ and he can't.  
  
Besides, what about Sandy?  
  
The girl is so nice, and sweet, and she doesn't deserve to be cheated on. Without realizing it, they're in front of Jared's house. Jensen parks the car and turns the engine off. _Say something, say something, dammit, or the tension will end up engulfing both of you!_  
  
"Well, what do you say?" He eventually asks, playing it cool.  
  
Jared's smirk tells him he hasn't been very convincing. "I don't get it, Jensen. Why do you care so much if I graduate?" He retaliates.  
  
Jensen grins. "Weird, isn't it? To have someone around who cares about you?"  
  
Jared ponders about it for a moment. "Okay, fine, you win. I'll pay you back."  
  
"Yes!" Jensen exclaims, fist pumping in the air, and Jared chuckles.  
  
"You have my word, Jensen," he adds, once again more seriously.  
  
Jensen nods, and before he has the time of processing it all, Jared's on him. This time there's nobody around to witness it; this time Jensen grabs the lapels of Jared's jacket and pulls him against his body, moaning when he feels Jared is already achingly hard in his jeans.  
  
Jared hisses at the contact, and slowly humps Jensen's thigh. "God, Jared," Jensen pants, as the younger man climbs his lap and licks a strip from his neck to behind his ear and then sucks lightly on the wet skin.  
  
Jensen can't breathe, and Jared probably feels it, because he pulls back a little. "Hey, man, air is your friend," he chuckles, just as breathless, before biting Jensen's earlobe. Jensen is not about to let Jared do all the work, and his hands wander under Jared's shirt, craving the skin on skin contact and revealing in the sweat that's starting to form on Jared's lower back. "Fuck me," Jared whispers hotly in Jensen's ear, brushing their erections together, and Jensen almost comes there and then, before Jared's words fall on him like a bucket of iced water.  
  
"Jared, Jared—Jesus fucking Christ, Jared, _stop_ it!" He pushes him away, using a hand to adjust his throbbing cock inside his pants and the other to close his shirt on his chest ( _when did Jared exactly unbutton his shirt anyway? The guy's a ninja._ )  
  
Jared arches an eyebrow. "Now _what_?" He asks, sounding slightly annoyed.  
  
"I'm still your teacher, Jay, so I—"  
  
Jared stops him lifting a hand. "Fine, listen. There's only a few more months of school before graduation, and after that you won't be my teacher anymore. We'll take it slow until then, so that you won't feel like you're abusing your position and I won't die of blue balls. Sound good?"  
  
Jensen blinks, trying to focus. Jared's hand has started to caress his leg, and it's getting closer to his erection by the second; all he wants is to get those long fingers around his— "What-what about Sandy?" He tries, weakly, to stop Jared one last time.  
  
"Dammit, Jensen! I told you not to worry about Sandy!" Jared exclaims, frustrated. Then he sits back and tries to calm down his raging heartbeat. "You're going to see Sandy now, aren't you?" Jared asks. Jensen nods. "Well, then. Ask her where she’s going to go to college. And if she doesn't want to tell you, just tell her you have my permission."  
  
Jensen wants to ask, he wants to know, but Jared is already out of the car and walking towards his house.  
  
"Jay!" Jensen calls, and Jared turns. Jensen searches his brain for the right words to say, but can't find them. So in the end he just smiles. "It is a _very_ nice jacket," he says, "it's worth it."  
  
Jared smiles back. "I know it is," he answers.

 

  
  
Sandy is working as a cashier when Jensen gets to the supermarket.  
  
He has tried to put his clothes back together and to look a little less disheveled and almost fucked than he did after he dropped Jared off home, but the smirk appearing on Sandy's face once he enters from the sliding doors shows him he didn't do the job well enough.  
  
"How you doin'?" Sandy asks, putting a customer's groceries into a paper bag.  
  
"Good," Jensen answers, clearing his throat right after. Talk about acting normal. "I think this is the first time I've brought food _into_ a supermarket," Jensen adds, chuckling nervously, and offering the bag from the restaurant to Sandy.  
  
"Mmmm, I can smell it from here. Thanks!" She says, beaming at Jensen, and he feels like the worst scum on Earth.  
  
"Jared says that if you don't like it, he'll take it off your hands," he blabbers out before he can stop himself, and then he stares at Sandy with a terrified expression he can't erase from his face before she turns towards him again.  
  
She looks puzzled, then he sees a sparkle of understanding in her eyes. "I don't believe it," Sandy mutters, then she grabs the phone. "Mike, I'm going on my break," she says.  
  
"Fine, but when you come back you need to go help Tom on aisle three," is the answer.  
  
"I'm telling you, this place would fall to pieces if it wasn't for me," she tells Jensen as she steps out of the cashier's desk. "Let's take a walk, shall we?" She asks.  
  
Jensen nods and follows her outside. There aren’t a lot of people in the streets, and Jensen feels more uncomfortable with every step they take. He doesn't know where to start: he should apologize, beg for forgiveness, but then again, he didn't assault Jared, did he?  
  
The guy was onto him from the first time they met, Jensen can't be blamed for it. Then he remembers what Jared told him, and decides to ask. "You know, Sandy, with your scores I think you should consider taking Advanced English at college."  
  
Sandy stops dead in her tracks and turns towards him. "Did Jared tell you to ask me about college?" She inquires. When Jensen nods, she huffs. "That is _so_ typical! Always letting me be the one to tell the story." She sits down on a bench. "I'm not going to go to college, Mr. Ackles. I'm gonna be at Clearview." When Jensen scratches the back of his neck confused, Sandy blinks. "You didn't know, did you? You didn't see my record?"  
  
Jensen shakes his head. "I didn't—but in the middle of the semester? Why, are you moving?"  
  
Sandy sighs. "No. I'm _pregnant_." Jensen's shocked expression must be quite eloquent, because Sandy goes on. "It's starting to show, so they thought it was time for me to leave."  
  
" _Who_ thought it was time?" Jensen asks, even if he already knows the answer.  
  
"The school. They don't let you stay there, if you're pregnant. They did talk to me about this really good program at Clearview for teenaged mothers; there you can learn about parenting, nutrition and all that stuff, so I thought it would be good for me, you know?"  
  
Jensen is stunned into silence.  
  
He's trying to put all the information together, but still he doesn't understand how—  
  
"Wait. The baby, it's—it's Jared's?" He asks suddenly, a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach, but he surely doesn't expect the deadly glare Sandy turns towards him.  
  
"Do you really think Jared's the kind of guy who fucks around when he's about to become a dad?" She snaps, and Jensen just opens and closes his mouth a couple of times.  
  
"I just—I don't know, Sandy. What would _you_ think if you were in my place?"  
  
Sandy breathes deeply. "Ok, here's the thing. I've been in love with this guy, Aldis, for a very long time. And he was nice, you know? The kind of guy who brings you flowers even if it's not a special occasion. Then they expelled him from school and he started hanging out with bad people. He changed, and became extremely violent and jealous. If I just so much as breathe the same air as another guy, he beat the crap out of me." Jensen grabs her hands, and Sandy just looks away. "Well, when I got pregnant, at the beginning he was happy, but then he started tripping and somehow got convinced that the kid wasn't his. He—" She swallows, "He threw me down the stairs. Jared was living in the same building back then, so he came out when he heard the noise. He helped me and we got to the hospital in time to save the baby." Sandy sighs, her shoulder sagged, and Jensen suddenly sees how young she is.  
  
He never fully realized that his students are _kids_ , and they only act like adults because their lives force them to.  
  
"What happened to Aldis?" He asks after a few tense moments of silence.  
  
"Jared convinced me to report him, and he went to jail. We don't know if or when he's gonna come out, but we do know that a few of his _friends_ are still around, so Jared came up with the idea of us being a couple. He said that no one was going to harm me as long as they thought I belonged to him." Sandy turns abruptly towards Jensen. "I would have never accepted under different circumstances, Mr. Ackles! I'm an independent woman, I don't belong to anyone but myself. The baby, though..." She softly pets her stomach. "The baby didn't do anything wrong and deserves to live."  
  
Jensen just sits next to her, in the still of the night, both of them lost in thoughts.  
  
In Jensen's mind, there’s only one question.  
  
_Where do we go from here?_

 

 

_TBC..._


	5. LESSON 5

 

  
  
Coming back to school after the weekend is harder than Jensen had thought it would be. Now that he knows about Jared and Sandy and their complicated situation, he also knows that there's nothing standing between him and Jared anymore.  
  
Well, aside from the fact that he's the teacher and Jared's the student.  
  
Or the fact that he's 26 and Jared's 18.  
  
Or oh, the fact that they are both men.  
  
So yeah, no more obstacles _at all._  
  
He snickers to himself before focusing on the class again.  
  
"So, what's the prize we're gonna get for learning this poem?" Ryan asks, and Jensen smiles.  
  
" _Learning_ is the prize," He answers, getting a few loud groans. "Knowing how to _read_ something and _understand_ it it's the prize." He steps in front of Corbin's desk.  
"Knowing how to _think_ it's the prize."  
  
Corbin shrugs. "I know how to think right now."  
  
"Sure. Well, you know how to run too, but not the way you could run if you trained." Jensen sits on the desk. "You know, the mind is like a muscle. If you want it to be really powerful, you got to give it a work out. Each new fact gives you another choice."  
  
"And the choices are our weapons, right?" Jake intervenes, unsure.  
  
"Exactly!" Jensen exclaims, beaming at him, "And in this unsafe world, I want to arm you."  
"That's what these poems are supposed to do?" Ryan asks.  
  
Jensen nods. "Just try it, guys. You're just sittin' here, anyway!"  
  
Jared arches an eyebrow, playfully, but Jensen doesn't feel this topic as a funny one, so he walks up to him. "Look," he states, staring into Jared's eyes and stubbornly ignoring the way his body reacts to the closeness of the guy, "if at the end of the term you're not faster, stronger and smarter, you will have lost nothing. But if you _are_ , you'll be that much tougher to knock down."  
  
This time is Jared the one who has to swallow and shift uncomfortably in his chair.  
  
Jensen has never sounded so assertive, so strong, so- _adult_.  
  
Jared has been blown away, if his wide eyes are anything to go by.  
  
Jensen smirks.  
  
_A little dose of your own medicine,_ he thinks.  
  
Meanwhile, Jake and Sandy start debating over the most recent poem Jensen has given them to read, and Jensen decides that he can't, and won't, let Sandy leave school just because a narrow-minded, bigot Principal can't see beyond his own nose.  
  
He briefly wonders what the Principal would say if he knew he was banging (or planning to, anyway) one of his students.

 

 

"Now, now, don't make a big fuss about this, Jensen." Robert looks pitifully at him. "Oh, I was exactly like you when I started teaching. Full of dreams, hopes and the will to help my students. It'll pass," he says, patting his shoulder.  
  
Jensen huffs. "You have to help me! You have no idea how bright this girl is."  
  
Robert looks pointedly at him. "Yes, in fact, I do, but there's nothing _I_ can do about it."  
  
Jensen stands up and starts pacing around the room. "This makes me crazy," he hisses. "What right do these miserable, self-righteous sons of bitches from the Board of Education have to make a moral judgment on Sandy McCoy?"  
  
Robert looks concerned. "There are parents in the other room, Jensen, maybe you should-"  
  
"I don't care! I'm gonna fight this ruling."  
  
Robert sighs. "We tried," he mutters.  
  
"What?" Jensen isn't sure he heard him correctly.  
  
"We tried, Jensen. Hell, _I_ tried, but there's no way to change things."  
  
Jensen sneers. "Ha! We'll see. I'm gonna write an open letter to every newspaper in the country, condemning the entire School Board."  
  
Robert massages his temples. "Well, that would be useless. The Board has nothing to do with it."  
  
Jensen mouth falls open. "I don't believe it. Are you telling me that-"  
  
Robert nods. "The Principal prefers that these girls go to the mother-to-be program at Clearview."  
  
Jensen is about to start cursing at Misha motherfucking Collins, when a single word stops him abruptly. "Wait a minute. You said _prefer_. You mean this isn't a _rule_? You mean that this is just Mr. Collins' _preference_?!" Robert nods again, the corners of his mouth slightly lifted up. "You mean Sandy McCoy is free to go to any school she wants?! Including this one?"  
  
"Unless she's absent for more than 30 days," Robert answers.  
  
"Then she has to wait until the baby's born before she can come back here...but Jensen, once these girls have babies, very few of them come back to school anyway," he adds, nodding towards Misha's office.  
  
_So that's what **he** thinks._  
  
"That's why you _make_ them think they have to leave?" He spits, still in shock. "You just push 'em out a little earlier, make it a little harder, a little more hopeless."  
  
" _We_ do what _we_ have to do," Robert says, spitting the pronoun like it's venomous.  
"Everyone knows how dangerous it is to have a pregnant girl in a classroom: pregnancy is contagious." He rolls his eyes. "It's all about _prestige, stardom, attention._ " Jensen tries to remember where he has heard those words before, then he remembers. _The school flyer_.  
"So there," Robert concludes standing up, "as I'm sure you understand, I really can't help you," he says, winking at him.  
  
Jensen smiles at Robert and mouths _thank you_ before he states in a loud voice that this is not over.

 

  
  
The woman opening the door doesn't look very friendly. "Who are you?" She snaps. The woman resembles Sandy a lot, but somehow Jensen doesn't get any _maternal_ vibe from her.  
  
"Hi, I'm Jensen Ackles, Sandy’s second period teacher. Can I speak to her for a moment?"  
  
She seems to assess him before answering. "Sandy's getting ready to go to work. Don't make her late."  
  
She doesn't move aside to let Jensen in, so Jensen steps back and waits for Sandy to come out.  
  
The girl arrives, still brushing her hair. "Hi, Mr. Ackles," she greets him, smiling.  
  
"I'm sorry to just bust in on you like this, Sandy, but I have the most wonderful news and I wanted to come tell you personally." Jensen's eyes sparkle, and he savors his next words like a victory. "You don't _have_ to go to Clearview," he explains, "there is nothing in the rules that says you can't stay exactly where you are."  
  
The woman, who has been listening to them from the door, crosses her arms on her prominent chest and narrows her eyes. "But she has already enrolled in Clearview," she states.  
  
Sandy's eyes shift.  
  
Jensen blinks, confused. "That's alright, but she doesn't have to go there," he tries again. This is not going as he expected it to.  
  
Sandy shakes her head, not looking Jensen in the eyes. "Yeah, but my aunt wants me to take the mother-to-be program at Clearview. She thought it would be a good idea if I learned how to take care of the baby and stuff, you know."  
  
The woman nods, so Jensen finally identifies her as Sandy's aunt.  
  
Still, that doesn't make any sense. "I don't understand, Sandy. Don't you want to stay at Parkmont? Don't you want to graduate?"  
  
This passive girl is not the strong Sandy he's come to know during the last months he spent with the kids.  
  
Sandy sighs. "Well, yeah, of course I want to...but I gotta learn how to take care of us too."  
  
Jensen lowers his head. "Fine," he says, feeling suddenly too tired to keep up this conversation.  
"Sorry to bother you." He nods at Sandy and her aunt and walks away, his head fuzzy and confused.  
  
He hasn't reached out car yet, when he hears Sandy calling his name. "Mr. Ackles, wait!"  
  
He stops and turns towards her. Once she's in front of him, though, she doesn't talk, so Jensen decides to make a last attempt. "Please, Sandy, don't throw away all you can become. I'm sure you love your aunt, but—"  
  
Sandy shakes her head. "She's the only family I've got. My parents died when I was a teenager, and she took care of me. And she was _so_ right."  
  
Jensen arches an eyebrow. "About what?"  
  
"About _you_. She told me that you'd probably try to talk me out of this." Sandy shrugs.  
"And you know what else she said? She said that since you don't even like women, and therefore you'll never get married or have kids, you don't want anybody else to." Jensen stares at her for a long instant, before he starts laughing. It's bitter, dry, boarding hysterical, and Sandy flinches, taken aback. "Look, I'm not saying that I agree with her, okay? I just-"  
  
"Your aunt is wrong," Jensen interrupts her. "I was married. And she was pregnant." He lowers his eyes and stares at his hands, unable to look up, his mind swirling through memories of that time.  
"We were happy, or so I thought. Turns out she wasn't." A sad smile appears on his face, and he shakes his head. "I was a Marine, back then, so I was away from home during long periods; one day I came back and I found her fucking my captain. In my bed. Now that I think of it, it should have seemed a little strange for him to always choose me to go abroad." He chuckles. "Anyway, she was afraid I'd spread around the fact that she was a slut, so she started spreading rumors about me first."  
  
Sandy blinks and takes Jensen's trembling hands in hers, just as he did for her a couple of days before while she told him her story.  
  
Jensen squeezes her little fingers back. "I won't bore you with the details, but those rumors were enough for me to get discharged. Then we got divorced, and she had an abortion."  
  
Sandy looks crushed. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Ackles, I didn't-"  
  
Jensen smiles softly at her. "It's okay, don't worry about it. Sometimes you start out wrong and-just keep going." He moves towards his car, disentangling their fingers. "I've never been interested in another man before, Sandy." He says. "I’ve never felt as complete and as safe as I do when I'm with Jared. And if that means that I'll never have kids, then-I'm okay with that, you know? It's worth it." He puts a palm on Sandy's stomach. "But that doesn't mean I don't want you to be a mom. In fact, I'm pretty sure you'll be an amazing one."  
  
Sandy blushes and beams at him.

 

  
  
Jared is walking to school, whistling quietly.  
  
Sandy is already at Clearview, she's safe and she'll have a precious baby.  
  
Besides, as soon as he's inside, he'll see Jensen.  
  
The thought of his teacher makes a soft, affectionate smile appear on his face as he tries to come up with some double meaning sentence he can drop to see him blushing and stuttering as adorably as he does.  
  
He's so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't see the other guy coming towards him until he forcefully shoves him on the side.  
  
"What the fuck—" He starts, stumbling, but as soon as he turns he feels his blood go cold.  
  
_Aldis_.  
  
"I heard you took something that fucking belonged to me, son of a bitch," the guy hisses, and Jared has to use all of his willpower not to flinch and show how scared he is.  
  
Aldis carries twice the muscle Jared does and he's drugged up to his eyeballs as always, which probably makes him even stronger and faster. Besides, he plays dirty, so he surely has a knife or a gun hidden somewhere underneath his clothes. Jared takes a small step back, his eyes quickly shifting to see if someone who could help him approaches, but they're alone in the alley. The fucker chose the moment well. "She came to me with open arms, man," he answers, shrugging, "and besides, she doesn't belong to no one."  
  
"That kid is mine, sucker. You can't take him away from me," Aldis growls, his jaw clenched.  
  
Jared throws him a mocking grin. "Watch us," he answers, then he walks away, feigning all the arrogance he most certainly doesn't posses.  
  
"You're dead, motherfucker, ya hear me? You're _dead_!" Aldis shouts from behind, and Jared doesn't doubt for a second that he means it.  
  
Cold sweat drenches the back of his shirt as he takes a different turn.  
  
He can't go to school, that's too dangerous now.  
  
He'll meet up with his friends afterwards.

 

  
Jensen is worried sick.  
  
He has been trying to talk to Jared since he left Sandy's house, but to no avail.  
  
Jared hasn’t answered his phone, none of the guys knows where he is and Jensen knows better than to go to Jared's house and ask his parents.  
  
If they discover Jared didn't go to school, they'll scalp him.  
  
And even if Jensen will probably kick Jared's ass into the next millennium for cutting without giving him any warning or explanation, he would still like for Jared to be in one piece for...anything that might come to mind.  
  
He flushes a little and tries to clear his head and focus back on his class.  
  
His gaze falls on Sandy's empty chair, and his stomach clenches.  
  
He couldn't make her change her mind.  
  
In the end, he didn't make any difference at all: the Principal and all his idiotic friends on the Board of Education won.  
  
Jensen sighs.  
  
Then Jake's voice, which was echoing in the background, stops abruptly and Jensen blinks.  
Jake is chuckling. "Who wrote this, some Mafia guy?" He jokes, and the room laughs.  
  
Jensen tries to smile, but he didn't hear a single word.  
  
In fact, he doesn't even remember which poem they are reading.  
  
"Listen, let's continue with this poem tomorrow," he says. "Just—take out your work sheet and do the vocabulary drill." The students groan, but Jensen adds, "words are thoughts and we can't think without them, so. Please?"  
  
"Let's just do it, people! It will only be a minute!" Jake exclaims, and Jensen offers him a grateful glance.  
  
"Whatever, something's wrong with him. He's grouchy today," Corbin mutters from the back.  
  
Jensen pinches the bridge of his nose and tries to calm down. He has a feeling in the pit of his stomach; he knows something is wrong with Jared, but he can't let personal matters interfere with his teaching.  
  
He's supposed to be better than that.

 

 

_TBC..._

 


	6. LESSON 6

 

 

 

  
  
As he walks outside the building, Jared's voice hits him like a punch in the face.  
  
Without even realizing it, he walks quickly towards the voice, and it's only when he's quite close that he starts to understand what Jared is saying.  
  
He sounds mad. "So, what do I do? What the fuck do you want from me, uh?"  
  
"You can talk to Jensen!"  
  
That's Alona.  
  
"I'm not gonna fuckin' talk to a teacher, man! You're tripping!"  
  
"Come on, Jared, stop being an idiot! He can help you!" Alona adds, as Jensen turns around the corner of the building and can finally see them.  
  
All the class is standing around Jared, who's flailing his arms and kicking at the ground. "Teachers aren't gonna fuckin' help me, okay? They never have and they are not gonna start now!" He exclaims.  
  
"Jensen is different, and you know it" Alona hisses, then they see him too. "Mr. Ackles, we gotta talk to you," she says, walking towards him as the rest of the students stay back in the yard. Jared tries to stop her, muttering _there's nothing to talk about_ , but Alona punches his shoulder.  
"What, are you Superman?" she asks, her eyes glaring daggers at him. "Is your ass bulletproof? Is that what you think?" Her eyes fill up with tears. "I promised Sandy I would watch your back, and that's exactly what I intend to do. Now tell him!"  
  
Jared briefly looks at Jensen, but his gaze never reaches Jensen's face.  
  
Alona sees his uncertainty, and crosses her arms on her chest. "Come on! Tell him what you're gonna do."  
  
The feeling Jensen had intensifies, and he shifts his weight from a foot to the other. "What is it?" He asks, dreading the answer.  
  
"Jared is planning on—" Alona starts, but Jared narrows his eyes.  
  
"Shut the fuck up! He don't need to know my business!"  
  
Now Jensen has had enough. "So I'm good enough for you to fuck, but not good enough for you to talk to?" He snaps, and has the satisfaction of seeing Jared's face go pale.  
  
Alona's eyes widen for a second, but then it's like nothing happened. She's Sandy's best friend, so Jensen is quite sure Sandy has shared with her at least the basics.  
  
Alona glares at Jared. "I don't think _dying_ is your business, Jared," she retaliates, acting like Jensen's comment never left his mouth. Since Jared doesn't talk, Alona turns to Jensen. "You know about Sandy's ex boyfriend, Aldis, right?" At Jensen's nod, she goes on. "He's a crackhead and he apparently came out of jail yesterday. He says that Sandy's his girl and Jared took her from him, so he wants to kill Jared to get her back."  
  
Jensen's whole world comes crumbling down.  
  
_Jared._  
Jared dead, Jared killed.  
Jared not here anymore.  
  
"Mr. Ackles!" Alona's pleading voice snaps Jensen out of the terrifying vision of a life without Jared, and he desperately tries to think.  
  
"If—if Aldis is threatening Jared, we can go to the police," he suggests, but Jared shakes his head.  
  
"Look, you're wrong if you think I only see you as a piece of ass. But this is something you can do nothing. This guy is looking to kill me and the only way for me to stop him is for me to kill him first." Jared's fingers close around Jensen's wrist, his thumb slowly caressing his pulse point. "I can take that sucker, Jensen. I swear. That's just the way it is, all right?"  
  
Jensen shakes his head as well, as vehemently as he can. He can't let Jared risk it, there must be something he can do. There must be. He turns his palm up and grabs Jared's hand in his. "Jay, no. Can we—can we please talk about this?" He knows he's begging, but he doesn't care. As long as he can stop Jared from doing something stupid, he'll do whatever it takes. "Come to my house."  
The words are out before he can thoroughly think them though.  
  
Jared smirks. "Yeah, right," he snorts.  
  
Jensen arches an eyebrow. "What? You're too proud to hide? You think it's better to wander the streets all night? Come on!"  
  
Alona grabs Jared's arm. "Please, go, Jared," she says, softly.  
  
Jared looks at her, then at the rest of his friends, all nodding, and finally at Jensen, who is still holding his hand but as soon as he realizes, Jared lets it go like it burned, blushing a little.  
  
He sighs and follows Jensen to his car.

 

  
  
Jensen puts on his old Navy sweatshirt, since he can't stop shaking, and goes back into the living room, sitting on the carpet next to Jared, a cup of coffee in each hand.  
  
Jared has already taken off his flannel shirt and is now only wearing his wife beater. His biceps are glistening and his hair is dripping; he looks like he’s just finished doing push-ups, but he’s simply taken a quick shower.  
  
Neither of them have thought about the implications of their current situation: they're alone, in Jensen's house, and still sex has never been farther from their minds.  
  
"Is Aldis your age?" Jensen asks.  
Jared nods, slowly drinking his coffee.  
  
"Does he go to Parkmont?"  
  
Jared arches an eyebrow. "Why do you care?"  
  
Jensen shifts closer to him. "If you tell Mr Collins about him—not about his threatening you, but about his being on crack," he adds quickly when he sees Jared's about to protest, "he'll be turned over to the juvenile court for drug abuse in school."  
  
Jared doesn't look convinced, so Jensen grabs his arm to keep Jared's attention on him and goes on.  
"He won't serve hard time, but by the time he gets out and he's detoxed, he will have gotten over trying to kill you."  
  
Jared seems to ponder it, then he shakes his head. "No, that would be ratting. I can't do it."  
  
Jensen slaps his arms, hard. "Of course! Kill him, that's better!" He exclaims.  
  
Jared huffs and looks away. "Jensen, you don't understand. You never will."  
  
Jensen feels stuck at a stalemate. He has one more shot, just one, to convince Jared. He desperately looks for the right words once again and finally he finds them. "You asked me once how I was gonna save you from your life," he says. Jared abruptly turns towards him, his eyes wide. "This is how," Jensen adds, softly, getting impossibly closer to him. "This moment will make a difference in your life forever." And then, without warning, he leans in and kisses him.  
  
Jared's mouth is slightly open and Jensen takes advantage of it to push his tongue inside. After a first moment of surprise, Jared closes his eyes and kisses Jensen back, answering every movement with a movement of his own. In no time they're grabbing at each other's clothes, trying to get undressed without breaking the kiss and growling in frustration when they can't.  
  
Jensen pushes Jared back a little. "Off, now," he mutters, pulling at Jared's vest top and Jared complies, throwing it on the couch.  
  
Somehow, Jensen ends up lying on the carpet under Jared, who's straddling his hips and helping him to get rid of his sweatpants. "You're so fucking beautiful, Jensen," Jared murmurs, his eyes shining with something that makes Jensen feel naked even if he still has a layer of clothes on.  
  
"Ditto," he answers, without looking at Jared, but the guy won't have any of it and lifts Jensen's chin up with his thumb.  
  
"Uh-uh," he says, shaking his head. "I want your eyes on me tonight," he demands.  
  
Jensen swallows and nods, trying to stop the moan coming out of his throat once Jared starts nibbling at his neck. His hands find their way to Jared's belt buckle, and he discovers first hand how hard it is to undo buttons and a zipper without looking. He finally succeeds and now both him and Jared are only wearing their boxers. There's no way to hide how aroused he is, and Jensen feels self conscious and exposed. He doesn't really have time to worry, though, because Jared's mouth moves from his neck to his chest, stopping to play with his nipples until they are hard and covered in goosebumps.  
  
Only then Jared gets lower, delving his tongue inside Jensen's navel, mimicking what he could be doing to his cock, and Jensen whimpers. "Get—get on with it, Jared, for fuck's sake," he pants, "should have known you'd be a damn tease—ah!" His cursing is interrupted by a soft tongue following the outline of his cock, and Jensen's eyes roll back into his skull. His hips snap, searching for more friction, more contact, more- _something_ , but it's not until Jared finally peels his boxers off of his sweaty body that Jensen can finally appreciate the sensation of Jared's hot skin pressed against his. Jared shifts against him, grabbing his jeans and recovering supplies, and Jensen can't help mocking him. "Oh, so you thought you were gonna get lucky, huh?"  
  
Jared smirks. "Well, when my _boyfriend_ invites me to spend the night at his place, I feel entitled to think we're gonna fuck. But if I got you wrong and your intentions were honorable, then—" he moves to stand up, but Jensen grabs his arm and pulls him back down.  
  
"Don't you _dare,_ " he growls and Jared chuckles.  
  
"As you wish, _Sir._ " He answers, and really, it isn't fair how much Jensen is turned on by Jared calling him like that.  
  
They will definitely have to explore the possibilities.  
  
He's completely lost in his own fantasy, and he doesn't realize Jared has moved until he feels his long fingers slowly pumping his cock. "Uh, Jay, what—" he can't finish the sentence. In a couple of quick movements of the wrist, Jared puts a condom on him, then crawls on him and impales himself on Jensen. "Jesus motherfucking Christ!" Jensen shouts, arching his back so much that he has probably sprained something, but he can't bring himself to care. His eyes are open wide as he stares at Jared and his flushed cheeks. He is panting heavily, and Jensen can feel Jared's hole fluttering around his cock. He's not sure about how long he'll be able to last. "Are you out of your fucking _mind_?" He finds the strength to say. "No prep, no lube—"  
  
Jensen is terrified of how much Jared must be hurting, but while he moves his hips experimentally, sending an electric shot of pleasure down Jensen's spine, Jared snickers. "Why do you think I insisted on taking a shower?" He asks, smugly, and Jensen realizes he's been tricked.  
  
"You little sucker," he growls, "two can play at this game." He grabs Jared's ass, lifts him up a little and then slams inside.  
  
Jared lays his head back and lets out an honest to God howl. After that it becomes some sort of competition, and both Jared and Jensen start using every trick in the book to fuck the other out of his mind.  
  
Hands, teeth and every part of their bodies that can be used to stimulate and generate pleasure come into the scene, and neither of them stop until they're both sated, breathless and covered in multiple kinds of body fluids.  
  
"Do you have any idea of how expensive it is to dry wash a carpet like this?" Jensen whines, but doesn't move a finger to stand up.  
  
Jared mutters something that sounds a lot like _poor indigent teacher_ , but then he starts kissing Jensen's collarbone and really, Jensen should have thought about it twice before he decided to fuck a teenager.

 

  
  
Jared is about to fall asleep when he hears Jensen calling his name. "What?" He asks, without moving his head from where it's comfortably nested on Jensen's chest.  
  
At some point between the third and the fourth round they made it to the bedroom, and now they're drifting off on Jensen's huge king. "You have to do it, Jay," Jensen mutters, probably not completely awake. "I can't lose you, I can't be without you. Please, Jay, please."  
  
Jared's smile is a little bitter and a lot regretful. "Shh, it's okay, Jensen, you won't. I'm here."  
  
Jensen's stiff back relaxes and he sighs happily, starting to snore immediately after.  
  
Jared can't fall asleep, though, and he keeps staring at the ceiling, all the different scenarios playing in his mind, one after the other. At some point he must have drifted off too, because the sound of the newspaper being thrown against Jensen's entrance door snaps him out of it and there's faint light coming in through the bedroom window.  
  
Jared turns towards the beautiful man sleeping next to him, his legs intertwined with Jared's, and he feels an unknown warmth bloom inside of his chest. Maybe this is what he has needed all along.  
Something worth fighting for.

 

  
  
When Jensen wakes up, he's alone in the bed.  
  
Since he's used to waking up alone, he doesn't realize that something's missing, not right away.  
He pads to the bathroom, washes his face and puts his hoodie on, since his house is always quite chilly this early in the morning.  
  
It’s only when he gets to the living room and sees the carpet half rolled on the side he remembers (Jared and him moved it so that if some surprise guest came by there weren't going to be weird stains in plain sight). A bubbly sensation makes him giggle and he calls out Jared's name, still yawning. When no answer comes, he calls again, a little louder and clearer.  
  
Still nothing.  
  
Jensen walks to the bathroom, but there's no one there, or in the kitchen either. He stops for exactly three seconds, before he runs to his room, gets dressed and bolts towards school.  
  
_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

 

  
  
As he rushes into the teachers' lounge, he sees Misha collecting some folders from Samantha's desk, and approaches him. "Mr. Collins," he stutters, still panting.  
  
"Is there a problem, Mr. Ackles?" The Principal asks, arching an eyebrow, in that unnerving cold voice of his, "shouldn't you be in class?"  
  
"Yes, I'm late. And you can scold me or kick my ass later. Now, please answer me: did Jared Padalecki come to your office this morning?" Jensen holds his breath, waiting for the Principal's answer.  
  
Misha blinks. "Yes, in fact."  
  
Jensen lets his shoulders drop and his stance relaxes. "Oh, God. Oh, thank _God,_ " he mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.  
  
Everything's going to be ok, now.  
  
The Principal will handle it, and—  
  
"But I sent him away."  
  
Jensen's relief freezes and his mouth drops open. "W-what? What do you mean?" He asks, unable to believe what Misha has just said.  
  
The man turns towards Jensen and throws him an annoyed glare, walking past him and towards his office. "What I said, Mr. Ackles. He didn't knock."  
  
Jensen follows him, completely baffled. "Because he didn't _knock_?!" He repeats, emphasizing the last word and still unable to fully process the situation.  
  
Misha rolls his eyes. "Yes, Mr. Ackles. I'm trying to teach these children how to live in the world. And in the world, you just don't burst into someone's office."  
  
He stares at Jensen, defying him to contradict him, but Jensen can't believe what he's hearing.  
"No, Mr. Collins. But maybe in the world the person in the office would at least ask why a student is at school two hours before the actual time, just to burst in without knocking." Jensen's voice is trembling with fury, and his fists are clenched.  
  
There's nothing, absolutely _nothing,_ he wants more than to smash Misha fucking Collins face against his precious office door.  
  
Apart from finding Jared.  
  
So he just swallows the insults and the violence that's menacing to burst out of him and steps back.  
"Listen to me, you motherfucker. If something happens to Jared, I'm going to tear you apart with my bare hands," he hisses, before slamming the door and running out, calling Jared's name.  
  
"Jensen! Jensen, wait!" It's Robert's voice, and Jensen turns just enough to see the man running towards him. "What's wrong with you? Have you gone completely mad?! Attacking the Principal that way, in front of all the teaching staff—" Robert stops abruptly when he takes a good look at Jensen, and Jensen can only imagine how he looks like: bloodshot eyes, pale face and trembling shoulders. "Jensen, talk to me," he pleads, "I'm not Misha."  
  
Jensen sighs. "Jared was planning to get involved in a firefight with Sandy's crazy ex-boyfriend, who threatened to kill Jared for protecting Sandy. I convinced him to talk to Misha instead and he came by, but that motherfucker sent him away because _he didn't knock!_ " He's shouting and he knows it, but he doesn't care. The pain he feels is crawling under his skin, and he feels like he can't breathe. "I have to find him, before something bad happens to him," he adds, resolute as never before and Robert puts a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Are you sure that's wise?" He asks. "I mean, you could be risking your life too."  
  
Jensen shakes his head. "I know, but I can't let him go to die. Not alone. Not after—after everything we shared."  
  
He's sure Robert understands exactly what is hidden behind his words, but the man doesn't show any sign of discomfort or reprobation. He just nods. "Fine, then I'll go with you. Jared's my student too, you know."  
  
Jensen smiles gratefully at him and the two of them walk quickly towards the back of the building.  
Just as they do, they hear the shot.  
  
From then on, Jensen's memories of what happens next are fuzzy and disjointed. He remembers running as fast as he ever has, he remembers Jared's blood and his hazel eyes, softening when he sees him. He remembers grabbing Aldis' shirt and smashing him against the wall, again and again, until strong arms pull him away, shouting something about Jared bleeding too much. He remembers kneeling next to Jared's motionless body and applying as much pressure as he can on the wound, fragments of his Marine training kicking in, then sirens approaching and Jared's taken away from him.  
  
After that, nothing. 

 

 

_TBC..._


	7. LESSON 7

 

 

  
  
Jensen's eyes flutter open and he sees Robert towering over him, a concerned expression on his face. "Are you ok?" Robert asks.  
  
Jensen nods, not sure about what happened to him or where they are. There's only one thing on his mind. "Jared?" His voice is raw and groggy and he shakes his head to clear it up a little.  
  
"Intensive care," Robert explains. "He lost a lot of blood, but the paramedics said that thanks to you and your knowledge of emergency procedures he could make it."  
  
Jensen feels his heart crack. _He **could**._  
  
Robert probably guesses what he's thinking about because he squeezes his arm and offers him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Jensen, you know how stubborn Jared is. I'm sure he'll be just fine."  
  
Jensen answers with a small tired smile of his.  
  
"That guy—they caught him. He had so much drugs on him that they sent him right back to jail. Between the drugs and attempted murder, something tells me we won't be hearing from him for quite a while." Robert stands up. "I have to go back to school, talk to the students, reassure the families..."  
  
"Find out if I still have a job, while you're at it" Jensen snorts. He figures he doesn't, but it's not like he's going to leave the hospital to go talk to Misha. He won't be moving from Jared's side anytime soon; he did it once, and look how well it ended.  
  
Robert fidgets, looking a little uncomfortable.  
  
"What?" Jensen snaps at him, afraid that he will make problems.  
  
"Jensen, you—of course you still have a job!" He starts, sounding like it was obvious.  
  
Jensen rolls his eyes. "Robert, Misha fired people for way less than what I said to him this morning." He objects.  
  
"Yeah, but that was when he was a powerful Principal no one dared contradict." Robert shrugs.  
"He's with the police right now. They're interrogating him."  
  
Jensen blinks, confused. "Why? What does he have to do with what happened to Jared?"  
  
Robert grins. "Someone told the police that he let a student walk away from the school with a gun, without trying to stop him and without talking to the authorities. That someone might have also talked about his policy with pregnant girls and the disappearance of school funds."  
  
Jensen's eyes widen. "No way. Why would you do that?"  
  
Robert lifts his chin. "Because I met a teacher who showed me how.

 

  
  
The night is long and Jensen's insanely tired, but he can't take his eyes off of Jared's unmoving body.  
  
He's afraid that if he does, Jared will stop fighting.  
  
The doctors have been clear: the wound is very serious, but they succeeded in limiting the damages, so Jared has a good chance. He still hasn't woken up though and that's most definitely not good.  
Jensen stares at Jared's chest, inflating and deflating at the maddening stable rhythm dictated by the machine Jared's attached to and desperately begs any deity who's listening to switch them.  
  
He wouldn't mind taking Jared's place, he wouldn't mind dying for this kid, if that was the only solution.  
  
Anything but the waiting, useless and disappointing, that makes Jensen feel like he’s a farmer looking at the sky during a drought.  
  
As the hours slowly tick by, Jensen comes to a decision. All of this? It's his fault.

 

 

  
  
"Hey, guys, listen up! Jensen has something to say!" Corbin's loud voices obtains some sort of silence, and Jensen smiles.  
  
"Thank you, Corbin." He looks at his students' faces and can't stand the weight of their gazes, so he looks away. "I just wanted to say that—I won't—I will not finish the year. And I won't come back after summer break."  
  
The silence he has tried so hard to get during all these months falls instantly over the room and yet Jensen can't be glad for it.  
  
"How—how come? Is it something we did?" Jake asks, and his voice breaks a little.  
  
"No! God, no." Jensen reassures him, but then finds himself at a loss. "I—I never intended to stay. This was an unexpected job," he adds, feeling the lie sting on his tongue.  
  
Jake narrows his eyes. "So if you knew you wasn't gonna stay, how come you made us promise what we promised?" He sounds accusing, and Jensen can't blame him.  
  
The last thing he wants is to hurt them more than he already has. Jensen sighs. "At that time, I thought I would stay," he whispers, but the room's so silent that everyone can hear him perfectly.  
  
"So how come you're leaving?" Ryan intervenes.  
  
"I just-" Jensen bites his lower lip and tries to keep going. He can't break now, not in front of them.  
"I have my reasons. Certain reasons," it's all he answers.  
  
"Is it because it's too sad for you after what happened to Jared?" Alona's eyes are still red and puffy, but her expression is stone cold.  
  
What she's actually saying is, _it hurts us too, you know, we've been friends since when we were kids! That's not a good reason to run away!_  
  
"Maybe," he says, in the end, rubbing at his tired eyes. "And Sandy, and all the other kids that are not here anymore. I just-"  
  
Jake slams his fist on the desk and stands up. "If you love us so much and you're so interested in our graduating, how come you’re _choosing_ to leave?!" He exclaims. The rest of the students nod their approval. "You’re sad about Sandy and Jared, but we're here!"  
  
"Yeah, what about us? None of us make you feel happy?"  
  
"We been working hard and we stayed in school, man."  
  
"What about us?" Dan asks, softly, like he's afraid of being rejected and Jensen can't stop the tears anymore.  
  
\---  
  
At the end of the day, only Jake stays back to help Jensen pack. "Why are you packing up today if tomorrow is your last day?" He inquires.  
  
Jensen shrugs. "Just gettin' a head start."  
  
"I see." They put books and papers in the box silently for a while, then Jake stops. "If Jared were here, he wouldn't let you go," he states.  
  
Jensen swallows noisily. "I know. But he's not."  
  
"Jensen, what you did when you came here? That was the nicest thing anybody ever did for us," Jake tells him, and Jensen knows it's true.  
  
"I didn't do anything special, Jake. I just believed in you, since you didn't seem able to believe in yourselves."  
  
Jake stares at him. "How can you not see how much that meant to us? You're the only one to ever deem us good enough to graduate."  
  
Jensen arches an eyebrow. "Why shouldn't you?"  
  
Jake snorts. "Ain't no other teacher gonna give me no A, you know that."  
  
"Of course they will, if you work for them the way you worked for me!" Jensen says.  
  
Jake shakes his head. "No, but it was different with you," he objects.  
  
Jensen sighs. "Do you realize the work you did for me this term? The poetry that we read is given to people in college, Jake."  
  
Jake's eyes widen. "Those same poems?! But they weren't even that hard!" He exclaims, surprised.  
  
Jensen smiles warmly at him. "There, you see? Keep working. You'll graduate." Then he nudges Jake's shoulder. "Hey, I might even see you in college!"  
  
Jake lets out an incredulous laughter, and then throws himself at Jensen, hugging him tight. "Thank you," he mutters against Jensen's sweater.  


 

  
  
"I feel so bad about leaving, I can hardly breathe," Jensen whispers. His fingers are tangled with Jared's, lightly, to avoid pulling any of the wires coming out of Jared’s wrist, forearm and chest. "But I gotta be crazy to stay here and teach these programmed classes, right? There's no money, it's killer work..." Jensen knocks his head against the wall. "Oh, who am I trying to fool? Not myself, that's for sure. You'd totally call my bullshit if you were awake." He caresses Jared's bruised cheek with the back of his free hand. "I'm the craziest one of them all, so why can't I find the strength to stay?" He lowers his head and kisses Jared's palm. "I need you here, Jay. I'm lost without you."

 

 

  
  
"Hi guys, I just wanted to say—" Jensen stops in the middle of the sentence and completely forgets what he was about to say.  
  
There, sitting in her usual chair, is Sandy.  
  
"Welcome back." He says, beaming at her and Sandy can't help smiling too.  
  
"This is the 29th day, the last day I had to come back," she explains. "Am I still ok for next term?"  
  
Jensen scratches the back of his neck. "Yeah, of course." Then, a thought occurs to him. "Did you come back because it was your last day or did somebody ask you to come today to talk me into staying?" He inquires.  
  
Sandy chuckles. "Well, it was both, really. I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do, until I heard that you were leaving." She picks at some nonexistent thread in her shirt. "You see, up until then I thought that you'd always be here for me, whenever I came back to school. But then Jake calls me, and tells me that you're leaving, just like that, after everything that happened, after protecting me, us, after trusting us and basically forcing us to trust you, and—" She shrugs, "And I realized that this was my last chance." She slowly stands up, her rounded stomach protruding from the low-rise jeans she's wearing, and walks a couple of steps towards him. "We decided that we're not gonna just let you leave like this," she states.  
  
"Yeah, we realized that it's like the poem said," Jake adds, standing up as well. " _You can't give in, you can't go gentle: you’ve got to rage against the dying of the light._ "  
  
"You gotta go for yours, you know that, right?" Ryan echoes, nodding fervently.  
  
Corbin shouts "You gotta kick it in and get it up!"  
  
After him, all the students start talking at the same time, concern, love and devotion resounding in their pleading voices.  
  
Jensen wishes he could cover his ears with his hands and simply stop their feelings from reaching him and mixing with his. "Wait a minute, wait a minute! I'm not giving in," he objects. "This is my _choice_. I have no reason to _rage against the dying of the light_."  
  
Sandy shakes her head vehemently, as her eyes fill up with tears. "That's because you're not the one who's raging. _We_ are the ones who are raging! You still don't get it, do you?! We see you as being _our_ light."  
  
Jensen's mouth drops open, and he just stares at them.  
  
"Yeah, you're our Tambourine Man!" Corbin adds, and everyone laughs.  
  
"Oh, so I'm your drug dealer now," Jensen jokes.  
  
"You got the stuff Mr J?" Someone asks from the back, then Dan shrugs. "You're our teacher, you got what we need. It's the same thing," he explains.  
  
Jake opens his arms wide, like he wants to embrace all of his classmates. "Come on, Jensen, you can't tell me you expected us to give you up after all the poems you made us read!"  
  
Corbin stands up. "What you need to stay, man? You want a candy bar?" He asks, and throws him one of those Jensen used to get them into poetry.  
  
Jensen catches it and feels his throat closing. "Guys, I—"  
  
Just then, the class door opens and Robert walks in, his eyes sparkling. "Everybody give it up for our new Principal," Dan exclaims, and the room explodes into roaring applause.  
  
Robert smiles at them, then waves his hands in order to settle them down. As soon as they do, Robert turns towards Jensen. "I heard you say that you needed a reason to stay. Well, Jared's awake."  
  
Jensen's eyes widen, and he has to grab the corner of the desk to keep himself upright.  
  
_Jared.  
  
Jared is awake._  
  
"As soon as he opened his eyes he asked for you," Robert continues, "he said you'd better be close by because he wanted to hear you say he was right and the Principal is an asshole." The room laughs, and Robert squeezes Jensen's shoulder. "He needs you here. We- _we_ need you here, Jensen. Please."  
  
Jensen looks at their earnest faces, at their pleading eyes, full of admiration and respect, and nods, biting back the tears that are threatening to spill.  


 

  
  
"Will you sign my yearbook?"  
  
Jensen rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes, I will sign your yearbook. I'm still not sure they'll let you graduate, though."  
  
Jared snickers. "Oh, Robert's a pal. I'm sure we can work something out. Besides, I've heard that the second period teacher has a weak spot for hot sex, so..." Jensen slaps Jared's head. "Ow! I'm injured, remember? Have a little compassion!"  
  
Jensen laughs and then leans in to kiss him softly. "Better?" He asks.  
  
Jared seems to ponder it, then grabs the back of Jensen's neck and pulls him closer, crashing their lips together again. Once they're both breathless and Jensen's pants are definitely tighter than they were a handful of minutes before, they separate and Jared releases a frustrated huff. "When can I leave this fucking hospital? This bed is too small for us both to fit..."  
  
"Jared!" Jensen exclaims, mockingly offended. "I would never take advantage of you while you're so weak!"  
  
"Ah, you wish, old man. I could still kick your ass with a broken leg and an arm tied behind my back." They keep up the banter for a while, their sharp words betrayed by the warm and soft gaze they can't help sharing, until Jared frowns. "So, how did they get you to stay?" he inquires.  
  
Jensen shrugs. "Oh, they gave me candy and called me _the light_."  
  
Jared looks at him, then smiles. "Yeah, that'll do it."  


_THE END_

 

**Author's Note:**

>  **Not Coming Down From:** [ Rome ](https://www.google.com/maps?q=Rome)  
> **Clawed Chained Heart:** crazy  
>  **Under The Spell Of:** Lighea "Le cose che non riusciamo a terminare mai"  
> 


End file.
